How to Get What You Want Every Time: 3 Steps to Negotiate Anything With Anyone

The Mel Robbins Podcast

SiriusXM Podcasts

Education, Mental Health, Relationships, Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 10.6K Ratings

🗓️ 22 May 2025

⏱️ 84 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Right now, there’s something you want. Maybe you need help at home, more support from your partner, or it’s time to set a boundary at work. But you’re avoiding the conversation. Why? Because it feels hard. You don’t want conflict, you don’t want to upset anyone, and you just don’t know how to bring it up. That ends today. The greatest things in life are on the other side of hard conversations. And in this episode, you will learn the 3 simple steps to have any difficult conversation and get exactly what you want. Mel sits down with world renowned negotiation expert Kwame Christian, CEO of the American Negotiation Institute, to break down exactly how to approach the conversations you’ve been avoiding. Whether you want to negotiate a raise, ask your partner to step up, or finally tell your friend what’s bothering you, this episode is your crash course in how to advocate for yourself. Inside this episode, you’ll learn: -Why avoiding hard conversations is damaging your relationships (and your self-respect) -How to handle someone’s emotional reaction without losing your cool -The 3-step “Compassionate Curiosity” framework to navigate ANY conflict -Why it’s more important to be respected than liked (and how to make that shift) -How to negotiate at home, at work, and even with your landlord -How to stand up for yourself without starting a fight If you’ve been staying silent, stewing in resentment, or dreading confrontation, this episode will give you the confidence and skills to speak up and change your life. You deserve respect. This is your roadmap to get it. For more resources, click here for the podcast episode page. If you liked this episode, you’ll love listening to this one next: The Most Important Career Advice You’ll Ever Hear With Harvard Business School’s #1 Professor Connect with Mel: Get Mel’s #1 bestselling book, The Let Them Theory Watch the episodes on YouTube Follow Mel on Instagram The Mel Robbins Podcast Instagram Mel's TikTok Sign up for Mel’s personal letter Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes ad-free Disclaimer

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.
0:08.7	Hey, it's your buddy, Mel. I am so excited that you chose to hit play on this episode and that you're here today with me because this is one of those conversations that has a before and an after.
0:20.2	After you learn what our expert has to say today,
0:23.5	you're going to go about your life differently.
0:26.1	See, right now, there's something that you want
0:28.7	and there's something that you need from other people,
0:31.4	but you're not asking for it.
0:33.5	Maybe you need help at home,
0:35.2	from your roommate or your spouse,
0:36.6	or you wish your siblings would step up and do their part helping out taking care of your aging parents.
0:42.2	See, life is full of frustrating situations, but oftentimes you think it's just easier to say nothing.
0:48.8	Maybe you have adult kids and you don't mind supporting them by helping them out with rent.
0:53.0	But every time you see them, they're in a new outfit. Or you feel overlooked at work, but you don't mind supporting them by helping them out with rent, but every time you see them,
0:58.4	they're in a new outfit. Or you feel overlooked at work, but you don't know how to successfully negotiate a raise. Or there's a conversation you want to have with your partner. Maybe you want
1:03.1	them to get a better job, or it's time to get married, or just show more initiative in the relationship.
1:09.9	Staying silent isn't working.
1:11.8	But how do you bring it up?
1:14.6	Well, our expert today, the founder and CEO of the American Negotiation Institute, Kwame Christian,
1:21.6	he is here today in our Boston studios to teach you three simple steps to setting up any
1:27.4	difficult conversation you need to have. Now, these three simple steps are going to help you three simple steps to setting up any difficult conversation you need to have.
1:29.5	Now, these three simple steps are going to help you speak up, ask for what you need,
1:33.6	diffuse any emotional reactions, and get what you want.
	...

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