Do you want to learn how to feel joy, happiness, and peace whether your partner gets sober or not? I thought you would. I have a free video for you at the end of this post that will teach you why your happiness doesn't depend on your loved one's sobriety. In that video, I share more details about the Love Over Addiction program that's now open for enrollment.

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You love an alcoholic or substance abuser.

One day you think he or she is doing better, and the next they're saying cruel and hurtful things.

You trusted them and they broke your heart.

The moment you find out your partner was drinking or using drugs or gambling again, it feels like you've been punched in the gut. A lump in your throat appears.

How could he or she do this again?

This time you really think this disease is going to kill you. You're done. You're broken. Your partner is broken. Nothing is working and you can't figure out how to help.

How did your life get to this point? You may even be embarrassed when you compare your life to other couples' lives.

And the really madding part of it all is that the next morning your loved one acts like everything's fine. He or she can barely remember what happened. You lay there feeling like you're going crazy and they're acting like nothing is wrong.

Denial. It is one of the worst things about the disease of alcoholism and addiction.

You're feeling trapped in a cycle of drinking, fighting, ignoring, resenting, blaming, and hoping - and then it all happens again.

You try so hard to be the happy and lovingly supportive wife. But even that doesn't work. This disease makes no sense.

So what do you do? How do you stop feeling confused and frustrated?

Many of you have told me over the years, "Michelle, it's so hard to just walk away and not say anything." And although I think that's always the best choice - if you feel like you just need to get it out - I've provided you the rules if you choose to stay and communicate.

Go ahead and express your feelings. Talk to him or her. BUT when you do - follow these rules. They are specific steps to follow that will help you feel courageous and dignified. If you do this correctly, you will feel in control. 

1. You can't be vulnerable and trust a person who has been drinking. If he or she is drinking, leave the room. Find your own space and stay away.
2. When you do talk to your partner the next morning or whenever they decide to come back home, you need to keep it short and sweet. No lectures. No yelling. You are a dignified woman.  
3. Tell your loved one three things: what he or she did, how it made you feel, and that he or she needs help. That's it. Write it down and practice before you say it. Four paragraphs at the most.

The last thing you need to remember: your partner's reaction doesn't matter. If he denies, gets angry, walks away, whatever.

Do you want to know why their reaction doesn't matter? It's because you're expressing your feelings for YOU - not for them.

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If you want to feel the love, hope, and peace you've been looking for and you want to learn how to be happy again, join me in the Love Over Addiction program. Also, just click below and check your inbox for your free, helpful video that teaches you why you're happiness doesn't depend on his sobriety.