How to forget about finding “The One”— and build a lasting relationship (with Dr. George Blair West)
How to Be a Better Human
TED
4.1 • 1.4K Ratings
🗓️ 21 June 2021
⏱️ 34 minutes
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Summary
If you choose to be in a relationship —long or short term— how do you go about picking the right person to spend your time with? And once you are in that relationship, how can you be a good partner? Can you avoid it ending badly? George Blair-West is a relationship expert, researcher, and doctor specializing in psychiatry with a private practice in Brisbane, Australia. He co-authored the book "How to make the biggest decision of your life: Unlocking the secrets to a healthy lasting relationship” (Hachette Australia, 2021) with his daughter, a millennial dating coach. Today, he shares what he’s learned in his 25 years as a relationship therapist, debunks myths about love (is there such a thing as “The One”?), and suggests practices that can help build long-lasting relationships. In 2021, George and his wife celebrated 33 years of marriage.
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| 0:00.0 | Ted Audio Collective. |
| 0:02.0 | Audio Collective. |
| 0:04.0 | You're listening to How to Bea Better Human. |
| 0:08.0 | I'm your host Chris Duffy. |
| 0:12.0 | If you choose to partner up, one of the most important |
| 0:15.3 | decisions of your life is who you're going to partner with. How do you pick who you're |
| 0:19.0 | going to spend your life with? What is the right selection process for a decision that enormous? Not to mention, you |
| 0:26.7 | got to pick someone who also picks you. And then even once you've found a person, you're |
| 0:31.4 | nowhere near close to done. |
| 0:32.9 | I mean, how do you be a good partner? |
| 0:34.6 | How do you avoid divorce? |
| 0:35.6 | And is there really just one perfect soulmate out there |
| 0:39.2 | for each of us? |
| 0:40.8 | As you can tell, I have a lot of questions. You probably do too. And luckily, today's guest George Blair West has some answers. |
| 0:48.0 | He is a relationship expert, and here is a clip from one of his talks. |
| 0:52.0 | Almost 50 years ago. And here is a clip from one of his talks. |
| 0:55.0 | Almost 50 years ago, psychiatrist Richard Ray and Thomas Holmes |
| 0:58.0 | developed an inventory of the most distressing human experiences that we could have. |
| 1:05.0 | Number one on the list, death of a spouse, |
| 1:10.0 | the two divorce 3 marital separation. |
| 1:13.3 | Now, generally, but not always, |
| 1:16.4 | for those three to occur, |
... |
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