How to Feel Loved with Dr. Harry Reis

Retirement Answer Man

Roger Whitney, CFP®, CIMA®, RMA, CPWA®

Education, Investmentmanagement, Saving, Self-improvement, Careerplanning, Retirement, Business, Lifeplanning, Investing, Retirementplanning, Financialplanning, Retirementpodcast

4.6 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 4 March 2026

⏱️ 68 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Roger Whitney shifts from financial planning to the non-financial pillar of relationships, sharing a live conversation with Harry Reis about how to feel more loved and connected in retirement. Together they explore the science behind belonging and loneliness, introduce practical mindsets for deepening relationships, answer listener questions, and close with the team’s latest book recommendations.

OUTLINE OF THIS EPISODE OF THE RETIREMENT ANSWER MAN

(00:00) This show is dedicated to helping you not just survive retirement but have the confidence and clarity to lean in and rock it.
(00:27) Roger outlines the month ahead: a focus on relationships, an upcoming financial deep dive with Wade Pfau, wisdom from retirees navigating health care before Medicare, a candid discussion on retirement calculators, and a live Noodle hangout.

CONVERSATION WITH HARRY REISS

(02:00) Roger introduces Harry Reis, co-author (with Sonja Lyubomirsky) of How to Feel Loved, for a conversation recorded live in the Rock Retirement Club.
(05:17) Roger asks Harry what led him down the path to study relationships and partner with Sonja Lyubomirsky for the book.
(15:00) Harry talks about the loneliness epidemic and the effects of not feeling loved.
(17:45) Roger and Harry talk about the obstacles and myths of being loved.
(23:15) Harry introduces the sea-saw framework for relationships.
(27:00) Harry shares practical mindsets for strengthening connection, including listening to learn, radical curiosity, multiplicity, and mutual vulnerability.
(43:30) Roger reflects on why this is important.

LISTENER QUESTIONS

(45:00) Listeners share questions about one-sided conversations, vulnerability, and love languages, leading to practical discussion about compatibility, communication, and choosing people willing to “play seesaw.”

WHAT’S ON THE BOOKSHELF?

(58:00) The team shares recent reads.

SMART SPRINT

(1:05:55) Consider one relationship you want to deepen. Practice listening to learn this week. Ask one more follow-up question than you normally would and notice what happens.

REFERENCES

Transcript

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0:00.0	Most people do not listen with the intent to understand.
0:03.8	They listen with the intent to reply.
0:06.7	Stephen Covey.
0:09.4	Or hey there, welcome to the show dedicated to helping you not just survive retirement,
0:13.6	but to have the confidence to lean in and rock it.
0:17.9	My name is Roger Whitney.
0:19.3	I'm a practicing retirement planner with over 30 years experience
0:22.8	walking this journey. All right, we've got a really big month this month. Today, we're going to
0:28.3	focus on the non-financial side of retirement, specifically relationships. Then next week,
0:35.7	we're going to take a 180- degree turn and talk with Wade Fow from
0:40.9	retirement researcher on the financial side of retirement and his current thinking on a variety of
0:46.8	topics. Then the week after that, we're going to share wisdom from retirees of how they're navigating
0:52.8	health care before Medicare. I want to make sure we
0:54.8	capture that. There's a lot of wisdom there from people doing it. And then last week of the month,
1:02.6	we're going to talk about retirement calculators and why they are wrong. And in some ways,
1:08.5	they can be dangerous if you don't use them correctly. So we're going to have a
1:11.5	lively review of retirement calculators to help you get the most out of them, but also to help
1:16.6	you avoid unforced errors. And then, if that is not all, that Saturday, March 28th, I'm going to
1:24.6	try something. We're going to have the noodle live, a live hangout at 10 a.m.
1:31.2	Central on a Zoom call with anybody who wants to come hang out where we're going to talk about
1:36.4	retirement. We're going to talk about the episodes. It's just going to be me hanging out with you
1:40.3	and lots of other listeners to just talk about retirement in a live hangout. So you can learn
	...

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