How to Drop Happily Ever After and Do Relationships Better – John Kim, LMFT : 973
The Human Upgrade: Biohacking for Longevity & Performance
Dave Asprey
4.6 • 7.4K Ratings
🗓️ 2 September 2022
⏱️ 48 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
IN THIS EPISODE OF THE HUMAN UPGRADE™...
… you’ll learn how to recognize your own sh*t and be a better partner in relationships.
Want a sustainable partnership? Communicate and apologize; fight without fighting; identify codependent behavior (your own); and manage jealousy (also your own).
This conversation gets into how you can let go of unrealistic ideals of how you think love and relationships should be and live fully in the present. You’ll also get tips on how to be emotionally responsible to people you love every day.
Guest John Kim, a licensed marriage and family therapist, as well as a life coach, cracks his life into two big pieces… split on either side of what he calls “the great divide” of his own divorce several years ago. He did the whole “get a tattoo and a Harley” thing to find his way.
He also combined what he learned in therapy school with life coaching and technology to be mobile and create online communities. He became known as an unconventional therapist, seeing clients at coffee shops, on hikes, or in a CrossFit box. He’s built a devoted following of fans who love the frank and authentic insights that he—as “The Angry Therapist”—freely shares on social media. TikTok’s his jam, with over 450K people tuning in for his “shot glass” bits of life wisdom.
In his newest book, written with his romantic partner and fellow therapist Vanessa Bennett, John takes a different (honest, humorous, raw) approach by dissecting his own relationship dynamic to bring clarity to yours. Each part of “IT’S NOT ME, IT’S YOU: Break the Blame Cycle, Relationship Better” gives you questions to ask yourself and practices to do. It’s a book that pushes you into doing and putting your newfound knowledge to IRL use.
Here’s a sneak peek at a few of the Love Lessons (In a Shot Glass) you’ll find in “It’s Not Me, It’s You.”
- Love is not a battlefield. Your head is.
- If someone is unsure about you, it’s never worth the investment.
- Hold love, don’t grab it.
- Don’t stop believing (be Journey).
- Love is what teaches us how to live.
WE APPRECIATE OUR PARTNERS. CHECK THEM OUT!
Infrared Sauna Benefits: https://www.sunlighten.com, use code DAVE to save up to $600
Custom Silver for Health & Healing: https://tru47.com/dave, use code DAVE20 to get 20% off for a limited time
Repair Oxidative Stress Damage: https://eng3corp.com/DAVE/, learn even more by listening to The Anti-Aging Science Behind the NanoVi Device – Rowena Gates & Hans Eng – #416
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | You're listening to the human upgrade with Dave Asprey. |
| 0:06.3 | Formerly, Bulletproof Radio. |
| 0:11.8 | You're listening to the human upgrade with Dave Asprey. |
| 0:16.0 | I promised that I was going to tell you what you get at an episode before you listen |
| 0:20.7 | to it so you can decide whether you want to invest the next hour of your life with me |
| 0:25.5 | and with the hundreds of thousands of other people who are listening to this. |
| 0:29.6 | So here's what you're going to get out of this one. |
| 0:32.6 | This episode's going to help you learn how to recognize your own shit and be a better |
| 0:36.7 | partner in relationships. |
| 0:40.0 | It's going to teach you how to let go of complete fairy tale unrealistic ideals of how you |
| 0:46.6 | probably have been programmed to think love and relationships ought to be. |
| 0:50.3 | So you can live in the present because when you talk about biohacking, we've got these |
| 0:55.0 | three major efforts, fear of food and the other effort. |
| 0:59.3 | We'll call it fertility or the four letter version of that word. |
| 1:03.6 | And if you are in a state of fear, you won't do food or love, right? |
| 1:10.3 | But if you have all these stories about love that aren't real and you feel like you're |
| 1:14.1 | not getting it, you'll go right back into fear and all the stuff hijacks energy. |
| 1:18.3 | So you want to be a better at making energy and better at allocating energy across your |
| 1:22.7 | emotions about your work in the world. |
| 1:25.1 | That would be kind of biohacking 101. |
| 1:27.4 | That's why you've got to pay attention to relationships as part of the environment around |
| 1:30.7 | you that you are consciously controlling so you could show up the way you want to show |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Dave Asprey, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Dave Asprey and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.