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How To!: Don't Bring Home a White Boy: And Other Notions that Keep Black Women From Dating Out

Slate Books

Slate Podcasts

Arts

3.8546 Ratings

🗓️ 27 September 2022

⏱️ 31 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

When Dana and Luke first started dating at the office they kept their relationship a secret. Most of their colleagues didn’t know they were a couple until they got engaged. They didn’t want any undue pressure or outside judgment. That’s because Dana is a proud Black, Ghanaian woman from central Florida and Luke is a white man from Kansas. Dana’s wondering how she can preserve her identity while they absorb each others’ family traditions. On this episode of How To!, guest host Hélène Biandudi Hofer brings on Karyn Langhorne Folan, author of Don't Bring Home a White Boy: And Other Notions that Keep Black Women From Dating Out. All three discuss the struggles and joys in their respective interracial marriages.  If you want to learn more about Dana’s work, check out AfroLA.  If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Beat Your Hidden Biases.” Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

I got looked somewhat begrudgingly to go to a matinee ballet that was over in Fort Worth nearby.

0:08.3

Before the show started, we noticed that there was a white couple, older white couple, like, I don't know, maybe 60s, even 70s.

0:15.5

And I know when I'm being looked at and kind of stared at and eyeballed, And I realized I was the only black person in that audience.

0:23.8

So we watched the show.

0:25.4

The show's over.

0:26.3

We're getting up to leave.

0:27.7

That couple comes down from the balcony and he's whispering to his wife something as they're

0:33.3

looking at us.

0:34.8

And my very protective husband, he is, he's's I can feel him as he's holding my hand

0:40.8

he's ready to fight and I'm sort of like holding him back I'm you know whispering to him I'm like

0:45.8

you know this these are things that we deal with I mean I know this is the 21st century but

0:50.9

not everybody has evolved to the 21st century.

0:55.0

Welcome to how to.

0:57.0

I'm journalist and documentary producer,

0:59.0

Alain Bia Dutti Hofer, sitting in for Amanda Ripley.

1:02.0

Let me introduce you to the woman from the ballet.

1:05.0

Her name is Dana, and she's the founder and executive director of Afro, L.A.,

1:10.0

a nonprofit newsroom that covers Los Angeles through the lens of the black community.

1:14.6

I'm actually on the board at Afro L.A. because I really believe in their mission.

1:17.6

But we're not here to talk about Dana's work.

1:20.6

We're here to discuss her marriage.

1:22.6

Dana met her husband Luke about six years ago when their paths crossed at a different newsroom,

...

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