How to Disentangle from Toxic People | Lindsay C. Gibson
10% Happier with Dan Harris
10% Media, LLC
4.6 • 12.9K Ratings
🗓️ 26 June 2024
⏱️ 75 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
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Emotionally immature people can wreck your life. One of our most popular guests returns to teach you how to make sure they don't.
Description:
Our relationships are the most important variable in our health and happiness, but they may also be the most difficult. This is especially true when those closest to us turn out to be emotionally immature people.
Lindsay C. Gibson is a clinical psychologist and bestselling author who specializes in helping people identify and deal with emotionally immature people, or EIP's. Her first appearance on our show was one of our most popular episodes of 2022. Now she's back to offer concrete strategies for handling the EIP's in your life, wherever you may find them. Her new book is called Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People.
In this episode we talk about:
- A primer on the cardinal characteristics of emotionally immature people (EIP's), how to spot them, and why you might want to
- What Lindsay means by "disentangling" from EIP's, and how to do it
- What often happens to your own sense of self when you're in relationship (or even just in conversation) with an EIP
- How to interact with an EIP
- How to prevent brain scramble when you're talking with someone who isn't making any attempt to understand what you're saying
- How she reacts when she comes across EIP's in her everyday life
- Whether it's possible to have some immature characteristics without being an EIP
- Handling your own emotionally immature tendencies
- Whether or not EIP's can change
- The limits of estrangement
- Why she encourages "alternatives to forgiveness"
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/lindsay-gibson-791
Book Mentioned:
Other Resources Mentioned:
Additional Resources:
- Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is the 10% happier podcast. I'm Dan Harris. |
| 0:18.9 | Hello, everybody. Today we're going to talk about how to disentangle from toxic people, or the technical term my guest is going to use, is emotionally immature people. |
| 0:29.2 | Earlier this week, just a few days ago here on the show, we rebroadcast an interview from 2022 with a clinical psychologist by the name of Lindsay C. Gibson, all about the idea of |
| 0:39.1 | emotionally immature people, which is a concept she originated. When that episode originally aired, |
| 0:45.5 | it was one of the most popular episodes of the year. So we invited Lindsay back on the show the next |
| 0:51.0 | year in 2023 to talk about her then new book called Disentangling from Emotionally |
| 0:57.4 | Immature People. And today, we are bringing you that episode. You're getting a double shot of |
| 1:02.0 | Lindsay C. Gibson this week because we heard from so many of you that her work was enlightening, |
| 1:07.4 | extremely practical, and even comforting in its way. We've all known people who |
| 1:12.4 | meet the criteria for being emotionally immature, and we will cover those criteria again at the top |
| 1:17.8 | of this conversation. But then, of course, the question is, how do you handle having them in your |
| 1:22.3 | life? So in this conversation, we start with a primer or primer. I've never known how to pronounce |
| 1:27.2 | that word on the |
| 1:28.1 | cardinal characteristics of EIP, emotionally immature people, how to spot them and why you might |
| 1:33.3 | want to. Then we turn to what Lindsay means by disentangling. By the way, it doesn't necessarily |
| 1:38.6 | entail estrangement. We talk about what often happens to your own sense of self when you're in a conversation or relationship with an EIP, how to interact successfully with an EIP, how to prevent brains scramble when you're talking to somebody who is not making any attempt to understand what you're saying, how she reacts when she encounters an EIP in the wild, whether it's possible to have some |
| 2:02.7 | immature characteristics without being an EIP yourself, handling your own emotionally |
| 2:08.2 | immature tendencies, whether or not EIPs can change, the limits of estrangement, and why she |
| 2:14.5 | encourages what she calls alternatives to forgiveness. |
| 2:19.0 | One quick audio note here, you may hear a few stray background noises on Lindsay's end. |
| 2:23.8 | That's, of course, the nature of remote recording. |
| 2:27.1 | Lindsay C. Gibson coming right up. |
... |
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