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Nobody Panic

How To Deal With Valentine's Day

Nobody Panic

Plosive, Tessa Coates and Stevie Martin

Comedy, Education, Society & Culture

4.8933 Ratings

🗓️ 12 February 2019

⏱️ 34 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

It's just a day! You don't need to deal with anything! But if you're feeling a bit apprehensive about the day of lurrrve Stevie and Tessa are on hand. Featuring the shocking (and Tessa-abridged) history of V-day and why Beyonce is crucial to getting through if you're single.

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Transcript

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0:00.0

Hello and happy Valentine's Week.

0:06.0

Also, sorry that we weren't around last week but we wanted to

0:17.3

do one about Valentine's Day and thank you very much to Hannah who emailed in and

0:21.4

requested as of like how to cope with Valentine's Day one and we thought

0:25.5

that we'd like do how to cope in all different scenarios you know like when you're

0:30.1

single when you love it but you're pulling and hate it vice versa when you've just been

0:34.3

dumped that sort of thing but also the main thing that we'll be shouting through

0:37.8

and it doesn't.

0:38.8

Crucially the main take-home here is nobody cares it a day. We've called it how to cope with Valentine's Day for click, but to draw you in. And we've got you here. Now we've got you here. Now we're here. All those articles saying like how to cope when you don't have a man or a woman or you're

0:54.4

alone it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy they're making you feel like you should

0:58.0

have to cope well the nice thing about capitalism Stevia as I always say of

1:01.9

course is that if you're not sad, no one can sell you anything.

1:05.0

Oh, that's so true!

1:07.0

Have you seen their earlobe fellows recently?

1:10.0

Those are offering earlobe.

1:11.0

No, just like to make your earlob look more plump if you've got like thin earlobes.

1:15.7

It was like they've really run out of parts of women's bodies.

1:19.4

That's not good enough.

1:20.4

Yeah, I don't think I could ever care about my earlobes. Maybe that's because I've got like banging

1:24.5

ear. Yeah you've got great ones. And if you're listening and you're like my lobes are a meter long, I can't leave the house. I'm like, oh my God, I feel you, I hear you hear you if anything is you wrap them up time in a bow use them as a headband but also if something is

1:38.0

obviously affecting your life that's affecting your life that's a different thing to just like my earlopes are a bit lean yes but you wouldn't have

1:44.0

known the majority of things you wouldn't know were a problem unless somebody told

...

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