How To Communicate Your Need For Space In A Relationship - Jayson Gaddis and Ellen Boeder - 318

Relationship Coaching School Podcast

Jayson Gaddis

Relationships, Relationshippodcast, Sex, Relationshipadvice, Society & Culture, Jaysongaddispodcast, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.6 • 981 Ratings

🗓️ 23 November 2020

⏱️ 12 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Here’s a scenario: You and your partner had a fight or disagreement. You want to talk about it; they don’t. Hmmm. How do you deal?

In this podcast, my wife Ellen and I give you a few tips for you avoidant-types on how to deal with your partner who always wants a connection or wants to talk about it.

Here’s a critical question I ask space-takers to think about:

Does withdrawing relieve my partner or not? In other words, is my space-taking helpful to my partner and good for our relationship?

Listen in as we unpack this question.

Shownotes:

0:50: Distancing in relationships
6:25 Establishing a time limit on the time you take for yourself
10:30 Action Step

Useful Links:

https://relationshipschool.com/training

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	I think that there's a really important question you got to ask yourself, which is so key,
0:03.9	which is, does my space taking, is that helpful to my partner and good for our relationship? So, Welcome to the Relationships School Podcast. I'm Ellen Bader. And I'm Jason Gattis.
0:37.0	Psych, my wife is here to break it down.
0:40.0	Oh yeah.
0:41.0	Yeah, today we're going to talk about some attachment dynamics and this is for you really if you're in a, if you're the person that needs more space in the partnership.
0:51.0	And I know a lot of you listeners might not be that.
0:55.0	You're the person that wants to talk about it.
0:57.0	And you're like, no, no, no, I want to want space, space is painful.
1:00.0	So this is probably helpful for you to listen to to understand the person who wants space.
1:07.6	Yeah.
1:08.6	So we're talking to you space takers.
1:10.6	Yeah.
1:11.6	Right? First of all, as we said on our little Instagram post distancing when you
1:17.3	distance it's not bad or wrong and you're not bad or wrong.
1:20.3	Yeah it for doing it, right?
1:24.0	And often it's mostly because it's just what you know how to do.
1:28.8	When you're under stress, you work with that by yourself.
1:33.5	You deal with that alone, you go inward,
1:35.4	you don't have a lot of words, you sort of process
1:38.7	and take so long time and you need to be alone and that's just how you do it.
1:45.0	So there's a we're saying that there's probably a reason that why you've learned that.
1:51.0	It probably worked for you somewhere in your past with other people
	...

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