How to Care Personally When You Don’t Personally Care 6 | 48

Radical Candor: Communication at Work

Radical Candor

Business, Management, Careers

4.7 • 729 Ratings

🗓️ 11 December 2024

⏱️ 42 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Showing respect when you just don’t connect.

Ever feel like caring about a coworker is just...not in the cards? Same. Here’s the thing though – you don’t have to be besties to show respect and keep things productive. In this episode, Kim, Amy, and Jason tackle the tough question of how to Care Personally when someone’s driving you up the wall. With relatable stories (yes, even a deodorant conversation makes an appearance) and practical tips, they break down how to stay curious, address frustrations head-on, and avoid letting those "ugh" feelings spiral into toxicity. The key takeaway? Stop writing mental soap operas about your colleagues and start having real conversations. Awkward? Sure. Worth it? Absolutely.

Get all of the show notes at RadicalCandor.com/podcast.

Episode Links:

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Chapters:

(00:00:00) Introduction
Kim, Jason and Amy introduce a listener’s question about caring personally for someone you don’t like.

(00:02:09) Radical Respect
How respect forms the core of caring personally, even when someone annoys you.

(00:03:48) Reframing Perspectives
Reframing narratives to foster empathy in difficult workplace interactions.

(00:05:05) Addressing Irritating Behaviors
Two stories from differing perspectives on personal irritations at work.

(00:08:17) Curiosity as a Bridge
The power of curiosity in understanding and seeing humanity in others.

(00:11:02) Unspoken Disagreements
How assumptions and unspoken disagreements corrode relationships.

(00:14:16) Repairing Relationships at Work
The journey from conflict to rebuilding a strained relationship with a peer.

(00:22:17) Different Work Styles
Respecting differing approaches to work and optimizing collaboration.

(00:24:14) The Role Self-Awareness
Self-awareness and transitioning from internal frustration to constructive dialogue.

(00:33:08) Indifference vs. Engagement at Work
The inefficiencies of emotional detachment from colleagues.

(00:34:29) Balancing Connection and Boundaries
Maintaining professional relationships while respecting personal boundaries.

(00:37:38) Radical Candor Tips
Key tips from the episode, including respect, curiosity, and addressing biases.

(00:40:24) Conclusion

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello, everybody. Welcome to the Radical Kander podcast. I'm Kim Scott. I'm Jason Rosoff.
0:08.6	And I'm Amy Sandler. And today we're talking about those times when we meet colleagues or team members or
0:18.5	clients or other folks that we work with that we don't immediately
0:22.3	connect with. And this can make practicing radical candor a bit of a challenge. So today we're
0:27.9	answering a listener's question about how do I care personally about someone I don't necessarily
0:34.7	like. This person writes, quote, thank you for the great information you share.
0:40.4	I'm using your model to improve the feedback that managers give in our organization.
0:44.8	One of the things that concerns me the most as a manager and as someone who trains managers to
0:50.0	give feedback to their employees is what happens when we struggle to care personally for our
0:55.3	employees. It's hard to fake. And I fear it often hinders our ability to provide radical candor.
1:02.4	There are employees we simply don't like or we simply don't click, making practicing radical
1:08.5	candor very difficult. Jason thoughts? Many. With their care personally, Jason?
1:17.8	I think my first one is just an acknowledgement that we're not necessarily going to love every single
1:26.0	person that we work with. So I just want to normalize a
1:30.3	little bit that you're not weird if you don't love every person on your team.
1:35.5	I would say not only are you not going to love them. There will be people who work for you
1:39.8	who bug the living shit out of you. I think that's what we're talking about. What do we do with those people?
1:46.0	Well, there's a range of things here, Kim,
1:49.3	and I'm reading more than one of them into this.
1:53.5	It's like some people, it's sort of like,
1:56.6	it's closer to indifference,
1:58.7	meaning like they're not connecting,
	...

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