The Hello internet. Welcome to Game Theory spending more time analyzing fictional athletics than actually going outside.

I know I recently said that Mario is classified as overweight according to the BMI scale, but one thing that BMI doesn't do... is at Mario. Sure, he may appear like an adorable chubby plumber, but he in fact may be the most

athletic character to ever appear in video game dumb. I mean, he's appeared in 25 sports

spin-off titles, competed in every single Olympic event, both summer and winter,

and mastered everything from golf and soccer to non-traditional activities like having Waluigi slowly grind up on him.

Oh, Waluigi, you casual lover.

You might not make the Smash Bros cut, but you'll always have a place on Mario's dance card.

You'll be the challenger approaching from the rear every time.

Mario's latest venture is Mario Tennis Aces on the Nintendo Switch.

You see, during matches, players can fill up an energy gauge by rallying the ball

then with enough energy you're able to hit a zone shot a fast-moving spite that's

near impossible to return near impossible. You see that's where there's this brilliant little bit of

strategy involved. You have the choice to either hit your zone shot into the corner of

the court where your opponent will have no chance at returning it or shooting it directly at them.

If you go this route, sure, they have the possibility of returning the hit, but if they miss,

their racket may just snap in half, forcing them to forfeit the match entirely.

Apparently with Mario hoarding all the gold coins, no one can afford more than one racket in this universe.

Anyway, this all got me thinking, is it actually possible to launch a tennis ball so hard that it can

break an opponent's tennis racket and if it can break a tennis racket what other

horrific things could that ball do I know we've talked about how deadly some things

in the Mario games can get, but could its deadliest weapon actually be a simple tennis ball.

Let's pull out our TI-83s and find out.

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