How to Become Psychologically Flexible (from two formerly rigid people)

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Being Well

Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.8 • 2.7K Ratings

🗓️ 27 March 2023

⏱️ 54 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Join Forrest and Dr. Rick, two “reformed rigid people,” as they explore how to become more psychologically flexible. Just as physical flexibility is the amount of stretch in our muscles, the ability they have to bend without breaking, psychological flexibility is the same quality in our minds. It enables us to approach situations from new perspectives, be open to our emotions, let go of old versions of ourselves, and step into new ways of being. In this episode, they discuss the concept of rigidity as a form of psychological defense and explore the motivations behind it. They also delve into the trap of assumptions and limiting beliefs, the importance of releasing attachments, and the benefits of embracing new ways of thinking. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:35: Choice, and the tradeoff between flexibility and speed 2:55: Rigidity, agency, and flexibility in relationship 7:50: Behavioral vs. psychological choices 10:30: The dock and the river, and self-protection 15:40: Inflexibility as a means to an end 17:30 Tools to inquire into your rigidities 20:50: When others’ behavior isn’t about you 23:20: Assumptions and limiting beliefs 27:35: Willingness to change, and comfort in feeling change 34:10: Releasing attachment to your ‘place’ 39:50: Understanding the function of your rigidity 41:35: Over-identification with goals and accomplishments 44:40: Stepping into the river 45:20: Recap Rumination Workshop from Rick! Join Rick on April 22nd for a 1-day, live online workshop where you'll learn how to identify rumination when it comes up and get out of negative cycles in your head compassionately and effectively. Use coupon code BeingWell20 for 20% off! Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey everyone, welcome to Being Well. I'm Forest Hansen. If you're new to the podcast,
0:11.8	thanks for listening today, and if you've listened before, welcome back.
0:15.9	The central topic that we explore on the podcast is how to change. How to let go of old things,
0:21.0	which might include patterns, behaviors, or even earlier versions of ourselves that are
0:26.1	holding us back in the here and now, and how we can step into new ways of being and doing.
0:31.6	In order to do that, we have to be psychologically flexible, just like how physical flexibility
0:36.7	is the amount of stretch in our muscles, the ability they have to bend without breaking
0:42.0	psychological flexibility is the same quality in our own minds.
0:47.0	Becoming more flexible includes being open to change and possibility in general, being
0:51.4	able to look at a thought or emotion and appraise it in different ways, getting comfortable,
0:56.3	dealing with different kinds of situations, and cultivating the ability to commit to that
1:01.4	which we know would probably be helpful, but which is often hard to do.
1:06.3	So today we're going to be talking about psychological flexibility, what it means to us, and how
1:10.5	we can develop it. And by us, I mean that today I'm joined by a clinical psychologist,
1:15.8	a best-selling author, and of course my dad, Dr. Rick Hansen. So dad, how are you doing today?
1:20.5	Honestly, I'm really good, and I know I typically say that, and it's true when I say it.
1:25.6	So I'm just saying that I'm really good, and I'm especially psyched about this topic.
1:30.7	Well, I'm really glad to hear that. Yeah, and I'd love to know like how you think about this.
1:35.2	There's so much in it. I mean, in evolution, and in our persons everyday life, there's a trade-off
1:41.0	between flexibility and speed, flexibility and automaticity, and flexibility very much kind of
1:48.9	implies a semi-deliberate process of choice, which is important, but it takes time.
1:55.4	You know, if you're walking down the path in the jungle, and suddenly there's a sound nearby,
	...

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