How to Be the Parent Your Child Needs During Divorce [314]
Flying Free
Natalie Hoffman
5 • 1K Ratings
🗓️ 11 February 2025
⏱️ 27 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this episode of the Flying Free Podcast, I address a listener's heartfelt question about how to talk to a three-year-old child about an abusive father while navigating divorce proceedings. I provide insights on child development, emotional regulation, and practical strategies to support both mother and child through this challenging transition. I also share ways to document healthy parenting for court proceedings and offer encouragement for mothers seeking to break generational cycles of abuse.
Key Takeaways:
- Developmental understanding of a three-year-old
- How to talk to a toddler about divorce without alienation
- Normalizing divorce for kids
- Navigating court and custody challenges
- Prioritizing self-care and healing
Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here
Related Resources:
- Your local library. Check out books about divorce for kids to normalize the situation for them—for free!
- Recommended episodes: “When Coercively Controlling Fathers Sabotage Mothers’ Relationships With Their Children,” “Raising Resilient Kids Even if Your Co-Parent Is Destructive,” and “Help Your Kids Overcome Trauma from Abuse and Divorce.”
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hi, this is Natalie Hoffman of Flying FreeNow.com, and you're listening to the Flying Free |
| 0:10.0 | Podcast, a support resource for women of faith looking for hope and healing from hidden |
| 0:16.4 | emotional and spiritual abuse. |
| 0:25.9 | Welcome to episode 314 of the Flying Free Podcast. |
| 0:28.5 | Today, we have a listener question. |
| 0:30.8 | Hi, I love your podcast. |
| 0:33.4 | Thank you so much for doing the work that you do. |
| 0:34.3 | It's so needed. |
| 0:55.9 | My question is, how do I talk to my three-year-old about why I left my abuser? My abuser is his dad. We are in the middle of divorce proceedings. I filed pretty recently, and we have a court date set for early next year. And I realized after listening to your show today that I've been gaslighting my son, I've been telling him, oh, Daddy's here. It's so exciting. Oh, you get to spend time with |
| 1:00.8 | Daddy. How exciting. Oh, my gosh. Have so much fun at Daddy's house. When most of the time he comes |
| 1:07.3 | home emotionally dysregulated, overwhelmed, overstimulated, may or may not have a meltdown |
| 1:13.6 | when he gets back, tells me that he doesn't want to go to his dad's house. How do I talk to him about |
| 1:19.9 | this? I really want to say to him, what we abuse, we lose, and daddy abused me, so he lost me. |
| 1:27.4 | Can I say that when we're in the middle of a divorce? |
| 1:31.5 | How can I talk to my child about the fact that his father is an abuser in a developmentally appropriate way for a three-year-old? |
| 1:40.8 | And have it not look like parental alienation in court, but also honor and validate my son's |
| 1:50.0 | experience of not being comfortable with my ex and not wanting to spend time with him. |
| 1:59.5 | Thank you. |
| 2:00.6 | Okay. So first of all, I highly recommend that you join Flying Free and take the preparation for divorce course right along with me. |
| 2:09.3 | We have a couple of lessons related specifically to kids and divorce that I think would be helpful for you. |
| 2:15.3 | And you can learn more about how our community can educate |
| 2:18.0 | and support you by going to join FlyingFree.com. But I'm going to offer you some ideas here as well. |
... |
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