“How to be more confident” is one of the most common things people tell me they want, and also one of the most misunderstood. If you’ve ever thought, “I’ll finally feel confident once I calm my anxiety, stop second-guessing myself, or stop worrying about what other people think,” this conversation offers a very different starting point. In this episode of Love, Happiness and Success, I’m joined by Dr. Aziz Gazipura to talk about confidence as something deeper than appearances or bravado. I’m revisiting this episode on why confidence is really about your relationship with yourself, how social anxiety and people-pleasing quietly erode self-trust, and why trying to look confident often leaves people feeling more anxious and disconnected. We also talk about the inner critic as a misguided safety system, how avoidance keeps anxiety alive, and why confidence grows through practice, self-compassion, and supported risk-taking rather than positive thinking alone. If you struggle with social anxiety, harsh self-talk, or the habit of saying yes when you mean no, this conversation offers a steadier, more realistic way forward. As you listen, I’d invite you to reflect on this: Where in your life have you been trying to feel confident without being on your own side? And what might shift if confidence started with how you treat yourself when things feel uncomfortable or imperfect? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 What confidence really means (and why it’s misunderstood) 01:48 Confidence as your relationship with yourself 07:32 From social anxiety and people-pleasing to real confidence 12:45 The inner critic and the “safety police” 16:51 Social anxiety vs. low confidence (and why avoidance makes it worse) 22:56 How confidence is built through practice and exposure 31:11 People-pleasing and “niceness” as anxiety patterns 38:21 Boundaries, authenticity, and healthy relationships 45:03 Projected dislike and changing self-talk 50:28 Final takeaways + where to find Dr. Aziz If this episode resonates and you’d like support building real confidence (the kind rooted in self-trust, authenticity, and emotional safety), I’d love to invite you to schedule a free consultation. This is a private, secure space where you can share what’s been weighing on you and what you want to feel differently. You’ll answer three quick questions so we can help match you with the right counselor or coach on my team. Many people experience this as a meaningful first step toward feeling more grounded, more supported, and more confident in their lives. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast: Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit shopify.com/lhs to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts. Working Genius — A powerful assessment that helps entrepreneurs and leaders focus on what they naturally do best. Get 20% off with code LHS at workinggenius.com