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Therapy in a Nutshell

How To Be Less Reactive or Impulsive - The System that Actually Works

Therapy in a Nutshell

Therapy in a Nutshell -Emma McAdam

Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Education, Health & Fitness:mental Health, Self-improvement

4.8657 Ratings

🗓️ 20 March 2026

⏱️ 24 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

It can be hard to figure out how to change your life, stop impulsive behaviors and regulate your emotions. In this video I’ll teach you a system to do it effectively. Learn the skills to Regulate your Emotions, join the membership: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/membership Why can’t you just stop being impulsive or reactive— even when you really want to? Because impulsivity isn’t a willpower problem. It’s a nervous system reflex. In this video, you’ll learn why your emotional brain hijacks your decisions (and why “just try harder” never works), plus a practical 5-step system to train new automatic responses. Instead of trying to suppress urges, you’ll learn how to slow down, identify triggers, insert a pause, and replace impulsive habits with healthier ones that actually stick. You'll learn how to be less reactive and how to actually change your life. Looking for affordable online counseling? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell FREE Mental Health Resources: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/free-resources Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger Institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction. And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services. Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hello, all you impulsive, reactive people. I'm glad you're here. Have you seen this video? Just get up. What are you doing? Come on. You gotta get up. Just stand up. Come on. Get up. What? I'm trying to get up. I don't, I'm literally trying to get up. I don't know what to tell you. The guy on the floor is learning how to fight. the coach keeps yelling, just get up, get up.

0:22.1

But the guy on the ground is literally being pummeled.

0:25.6

I am literally trying to get up, he says.

0:28.6

He's trying harder, but nothing's changing.

0:31.6

What's going on?

0:32.6

First, the coach stinks.

0:34.6

And second, you can't just tell people to try harder to do a skill that they don't have yet.

0:41.1

Now, most people think that change happens here.

0:45.1

You've probably tried over and over to force yourself to stop.

0:49.1

But even when it's super important to you, you keep falling back on impulsively spending,

0:54.2

drugging, yelling, storming off, quitting, fighting, shutting down, mouthing off.

0:58.9

And if you're here, all that reactivity is probably interfering with you, being the person

1:03.6

that you want to be.

1:04.8

Being more reactive or impulsive can be due to trauma loading, depression, anxiety, brain differences like ADHD, or just a lack of skills and practice.

1:15.2

But regardless of what causes it, you can't just try harder or use willpower to stop.

1:22.0

This is most likely a reflexive nervous system response and you need to train a new reflex to replace it.

1:28.3

It's not that it's impossible to change, it's that lasting sustainable change is different than most people assume.

1:35.3

The reality is that real change doesn't happen here if we're looking for sustainable change.

1:41.3

It really happens here, here, and here in prevention. Okay? You really can

1:49.3

learn to train yourself to respond differently to these situations so that you can be less

1:54.1

impulsive, less reactive, and gain control of your life. So in this video, you're going to learn

1:59.1

four steps to doing that.

...

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