You know, we forget that this act of getting closer to somebody is really powerful.

It feels really good.

We also forget that us being a little bit more vulnerable can feel really good.

I think we kind of assume we have to be this

perfect plastic facade to the people around us, but what the research really shows

is that getting vulnerable can actually make us be more liked by the people

around us. There's this lovely effect I love called the beautiful mess effect that when we look kind of a little bit messy to people not like you know full on tragedy but we look a tiny bit messy people actually enjoy that people like not over sharing but sharing a little bit messy. People actually enjoy that. People like not over sharing but sharing a little bit because it makes people feel a little bit more close to us. And so I think yeah, going deep is something we don't expect to be really important and powerful but we enjoy it much more

than we and that our brains predict very well. Welcome to offline.

Welcome to offline I'm John Favreau. I'm Max Fisher and you just heard from this

week's guest Dr. Lori Santos professor of psychology at Yale University

and host of the Happiness Lab Podcast.

Max, are you happy?

Wow, am I happy?

I mean, this moment I'm potting, so that's pretty fun,

but in a deeper level, don't know I mean what does

Lori have to offer me in terms of understanding and fantastic advice

fantastic advice the world happiness report just came out.

Okay.

And for the first time in history, the United States was not in the top 20 happiest countries.

And our decline was due almost entirely to self-reported happiness among, wait for it, Americans under 30.

Yeah.

So we've obviously spent a lot of time on this show talking about the various things that are making us less happy, especially our screens.

...