How to Be Assertive

Therapy in a Nutshell

Therapy in a Nutshell -Emma McAdam

Mental Health, Education, Health & Fitness:mental Health, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 658 Ratings

🗓️ 11 November 2020

⏱️ 20 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Assertive communication is essential for good relationships, and to feel good about yourself. But many people don't know how to be assertive. They use other, less helpful communication styles. Being assertive means expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs in an open and respectful way. It means standing up for yourself and respecting others. Assertiveness is crucial for a good relationship, and it builds self-esteem - because when you’re being more truthful to your values, beliefs, and opinions, you have more integrity. You’re more honest with yourself both inwardly and outwardly. Learn more in my 30 Skills for Better Relationships course: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/relationship-skills?utm_campaign=Nov%2010,%202020&utm_medium=Description&utm_source=podcast Thanks BetterHelp for sponsoring the video: BetterHelp-where you can get professional, affordable counseling online for around $65 a week, 10% off with this link: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanuts... Sign up for my newsletter: www.therapynutshell.com Learn more in one of my in-depth mental-health courses: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=11102020 Therapy in a Nutshell, and the information provided by Emma McAdam, is solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and is not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. If you are in crisis please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or your local emergency services. Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello everyone and welcome to therapy in a nutshell. I'm Emma McAdam, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and this is the podcast where I condense mental health skills into bite-sized nuggets of health.
0:20.4	Hello and welcome to day 24 of 30 skills in 30 days for better relationships.
0:26.6	In this section, we're going to learn about assertiveness.
0:29.6	Now, I am not a natural at this, but like all skills, it is a skill that you can learn and practice and tell you're good at it. This video is sponsored by Better Help, where you can get professional, affordable, online counseling for around $65 a week. So check out the link in the description for 10% off your first month.
0:58.0	So I am not the most assertive person. I thought I was and the more I get, the further I get into parenting and into my relationships,
1:07.0	the more I'm realizing that I'm actually, like I struggle with assertiveness. Let me give you an example. One time my in-laws were in town and we'd ordered some Thai food.
1:16.8	My husband had gone and picked it up. I was really looking forward to my pad Thai, my Masamon curry,
1:22.2	my little cream cheese dumplings. And when my husband gets back, he opens up the package and it was not the food
1:29.9	we had ordered. And so my in-laws are sitting down. They're eating it anyway. And they're like,
1:35.6	oh, this soup is really spicy. Oh, this is some weird dish. What is this? And I don't like spicy.
1:42.3	And I just really wanted the food that I had ordered. I was really hungry. And my mother-in-law keeps saying, like, Emma, come sit down and eat. Come sit down and eat. And I was like, no, I'm just going to, you know, I'm just going to go get, I'm just going to go back to the restaurant and get the, you know, the food. I'll just go drive. Don't worry about it.
2:02.6	I'll just go drive. And my mother-in-law keeps saying, Emma, come sit down. And I'm like, I,
2:08.3	but I didn't say to her, you know, I didn't really say anything. And then eventually,
2:14.7	the restaurant calls my husband and says, hey, are you Ryan?
2:18.3	We had two orders for Ryan and we gave you the wrong one.
2:22.3	We have your food, your whole food ready here, come get it.
2:25.3	So then at that point my husband goes, drives up, gets the food and comes back and we had Thai food.
2:31.3	But while my husband was gone, my mother-in-law was like, Emma, like, do you hate me?
2:39.0	And I was like, what?
2:40.0	No, I don't hate you.
2:42.0	What are you talking about?
2:43.0	And she's like, I kept saying, like, Emma, come eat the food and you didn't even answer me.
	...

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