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You're listening to LifeKit from NPR.

Hey there, Andy Tagle here in for Mariel Segera.

There is so much preparation required for a new baby.

As your belly grows, so too does the checklist of all the things you need to do to protect that future little one,

to babyproof every corner of your home and your life, from prenatal vitamins to ultrasound appointments,

finding the perfect car seat, and signing up for infant CPR. But what we don't think about as much

is how to safeguard our relationships, how to protect parents to be from the monumental change

that a new baby brings to a household.

It's not that closely guarded of a secret that your relationship tends to suffer quite a bit

when you have kids, except it's not something that a lot of people seem to be talking about,

and it's not something that people seem

to want to even think about. That's parent relationship educator and coach Aaron Steinberg,

who introduced me to the idea of baby-proofing your relationship. He actually teaches a whole

course on the subject, because it's a pretty widespread need. According to one study, nearly 70%

of couples become dissatisfied in the relationship in the first three years of having kids. It's not

hard to understand why that might be. You want to anticipate the fantasy of becoming the sweet

little family and everything becoming better and your relationship becoming closer.

And for most people, that's partially true and partially true that other things happen.

Like your relationship gets really threadbare and connection becomes really difficult.

...