How To Avoid An Argument

Love Over Addiction

Michelle Anderson

Society & Culture, Wifeofanalcoholic, Codependency, Relationships, Recovery, Alanon

4.8 • 1.5K Ratings

🗓️ 12 May 2019

⏱️ 6 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

When we love someone suffering from addiction, arguments and fights are part of our normal life, much more so than a relationship without addiction.

So how does it feel when your partner walks into the room, and you know they’re there to pick a fight? Maybe you can tell by their body language, their tone, the subject matter, or maybe they’re already starting to yell.

No matter the circumstance, you may become super anxious, fearful, or mad. You may want to just run and hide. Or maybe you’re ready to fight, and you want to put on your ‘boxing gloves’ and ‘step into the ring’.

But here’s the truth: most all of us want to avoid that argument or fight. We don’t want to engage, and we certainly don’t want to be hurt by our partner’s piercing words.

There are ways to avoid arguments, and one true ‘secret’ you can apply to every conversation with your loved one.

Listen to find out what it is + hear a story about how I recently reacted to my ex-husband trying to pick a fight with me.

Find more notes + resources about arguments here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/avoid-an-argument/

And find other helpful episodes, free guidesheets and more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	You're listening to the Love Over Addiction Podcast. I'm going to be here. Before Michelle starts teaching on this episode, I want to tell you about our free guide sheet this month.
0:30.0	And this month, it's all about self-care and self-care is frankly all the
0:35.9	rage right now but we're not talking about the Instagram style quote
0:40.4	hashtag self-care that's the kind of self-care where you have to take 20
0:45.8	pictures of your nails, your skin care, or your bubble bath to create a social
0:50.0	media post only then to obsessively check the likes. So we're definitely not
0:55.0	talking about that kind of self-care because the reality of it is that's not
0:59.9	self-care at all. Instead we're talking about true self-care at all. Instead, we're talking about true self-care, the kind you can't find on any
1:07.6	Instagram post. If you're not sure what that looks like or you just want more ideas of what you can do go to love
1:15.9	over addiction.com slash self-care to get your free guide sheet today.
1:25.0	You know how we always say that addiction happens to good people worst in the ones we love.
1:33.6	Well, I truly believe that and I also believe that
1:38.4	that addiction can bring out the worst in the ones we love.
1:44.3	Let me give you an example.
1:46.7	Every few months I talk to my ex-husband and for the most part this is polite and respectful conversation.
1:56.2	Over the years, I've taught him that I will not put up with being bullied, and I have absolutely zero interest arguing about the past.
2:08.2	If he goes there I end our conversation very quickly. And I've created enough distance between me and addiction over the years
2:17.5	to recognize when I am being baited for a fight and most of the time I don't fall for it. But a few weeks ago I had a
2:29.1	conversation with him concerning an important and touchy subject and it did require me to see it through.
2:37.8	And when I find myself discussing a topic with my ex-husband that requires my cooperation and thoughtfulness while still respecting
2:49.2	my boundaries. I try to keep it short and sweet. The most important virtue that prevents me from throwing
2:59.8	my gloves off and stepping into the ring is dignity. I try very, very hard to remain dignified.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Michelle Anderson, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Michelle Anderson and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.