How to Argue Better | Oren Jay Sofer
10% Happier with Dan Harris
10% Media, LLC
4.6 • 12.9K Ratings
🗓️ 6 April 2022
⏱️ 58 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
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This episode dives into our archives to revisit the notion of communication as a learnable skill. Often some of the most painful situations you encounter are the result of poor communication. The good news is that communication is a skill that can be learned.
Author and meditation teacher Oren Jay Sofer, a leading figure in the field of interpersonal communication, breaks down how communication can be one of the most powerful levers for creating positive change in your life.
Oren Jay Sofer is the author of Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication. He also teaches mindfulness, meditation and nonviolent communication in secular and Buddhist contexts. He graduated from Insight Meditation Center's Spirit Rock Vipassana Teacher Training and is a long-time student of Joseph Goldstein, Michele McDonald, and Ajahn Sucitto.
In this conversation, we also talk about:
- How to become aware of what motivates you to communicate the way you do
- Strategies for how to have more meaningful conversations
- What it means to lead with presence
- How conflict has the possibility to deepen our relationships and make peace
Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/oren-jay-sofer-repost-165
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is the 10% Happier Podcast. |
| 0:06.2 | I'm Dan Harris. |
| 0:10.2 | Hey, everybody. |
| 0:11.6 | One of the most valuable skills I have learned in recent years is how to get better at talking |
| 0:18.8 | to other human beings. |
| 0:20.6 | It is amazing to contemplate that most of us spend much of our days yammering, and yet |
| 0:26.3 | very few of us have ever been taught how to do a better job at this. |
| 0:31.2 | For me, at least many of the most painful and most awkward and embarrassing situations |
| 0:35.8 | I have ever endured were the results of poor communication, usually on my end. |
| 0:41.1 | Why don't they teach this in school? |
| 0:43.6 | Because it turns out communication is a skill, and there are many extremely smart people |
| 0:48.1 | who have devised brilliant systems for teaching us how to get better at this. |
| 0:53.5 | One of the leading figures in this field is the meditation teacher, Orin J. Sofer. |
| 0:57.6 | If you use the 10% Happier app, you've most likely encountered him over there. |
| 1:01.5 | He's one of our most popular teachers, and he has dedicated much of his teaching career |
| 1:06.4 | to the subject of interpersonal communication. |
| 1:09.3 | In this conversation, we talk about his core thesis that communication is a learnable |
| 1:12.7 | skill, and one of the most accessible ways to improve your life, how to become aware of |
| 1:17.8 | what motivates you to communicate the way you do. |
| 1:22.1 | He's for how to have more meaningful conversations, what it means to, as he says, lead with presence, |
| 1:28.6 | how to understand your intentions and wants, and how conflict can deepen our relationships |
| 1:34.6 | in the end. |
... |
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