You're listening to Comedy Central.

How?

Hi, little friends. It's me, Dulce.

And today we're going to learn how the government works.

Now, most civics classes will teach you about the president,

and Supreme Court, and Congress, and blah, blah, blah.

But you don't need to know any of that.

Hell, the biggest thing Congress does for you is flood your inbox.

Every 15 minutes, the future of the world depends on me.

Send in 10 bucks to some dumbass in Rhode Island.

I'm going to tell you about the parts of the government you'll meet in real life.

Let's start with the TSA.

That's the part of the government in charge of feeling you up.

And confiscating your little shampoo bottles filled with henna suits.

Here's a tip, kids. Always drink your booze before you get on the flight.

Mmm.

And do you know how the TSA gets away with harassing us like this?

It's because of the men.

I saw damn fine.

Next, we've got the IRS.

You know how the mafia collects protection money?

This is sort of like the same thing.

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