How Taking Care Of Your Partner Suffering From Addiction Is Actually Hurting

Love Over Addiction

Michelle Anderson

Society & Culture, Wifeofanalcoholic, Codependency, Relationships, Recovery, Alanon

4.8 • 1.5K Ratings

🗓️ 24 November 2019

⏱️ 7 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

When we love someone suffering from addiction, our relationships aren’t ‘normal’ by any stretch of the word.

We can take on strange roles that we never imagined before, like taking care of our partners like they’re our children.

Can you relate? Do you find yourself reminding them of appointments? Picking up their laundry? Cleaning up their messes? Driving them places? Making all their food?

There’s no shame here. We’re a judgment-free community. And I found myself in this exact position when I loved a good man that suffered from addiction.

I thought I was helping, but I was actually hurting.

Find out how to let go of acting like their mother, and where to put that energy and effort instead.

Learn more: https://loveoveraddiction.com/taking-care-of-your-partner/

Join your community: https://loveoveraddiction.com

Connect personally: https://www.instagram.com/love_over_addiction/

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	You're listening to the Love Over Addiction Podcast. Graham is my 12-year-old sweet pea.
0:14.0	He is the one who is the one who notices when I come back from the
0:26.6	salon and says, mom, your hair looks really pretty. He melts my heart every time.
0:32.4	The other night I fell asleep while we were watching the Black Panther together and he tucked me in, put on the fan and turned off the light.
0:42.0	But my little man is struggling right now and I have his
0:45.8	permission to share the story. He started a new school that's academically very
0:51.6	intense for the first time in his life. He has a locker and
0:57.0	just four minutes to fidget with the lock get his books and run to his next class.
1:02.8	This morning driving on the way to school, he asked me,
1:07.0	mom, what are the chances of the car breaking down
1:10.2	so I don't have to go to school?
1:11.8	Oh, my little man. So I put my hand on his knee and said listen my love.
1:18.8	I know you're feeling overwhelmed and you lost your homework binder. It's really hard to get organized when
1:24.9	everything feels like it's moving so fast, especially when you're the new kid at
1:29.4	school. Why don't I walk you into class and meet with the principal to figure out how we can get you some help?
1:35.0	You know what he said? He goes, that would be so embarrassing mom.
1:40.0	But after I promised, and I'm not even joking you guys, after I promised him that I would walk 12 feet behind him, he relented.
1:48.0	I could tell, despite the possibility of judgment from other kids, he was glad I was willing to come alongside
1:55.8	of him and help.
1:57.5	And because this community is not about me, and it's not about my kids, and you're here listening to this for answers when you
2:05.0	love someone suffering from addiction I'm gonna skip to the part of the
2:08.8	story that I think will help you. After an hour meeting with the principal and coming up with a well
	...

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