How Self Protection Hurts Relationships
Famous at Home
Josh + Christi Straub
4.8 • 667 Ratings
🗓️ 11 June 2025
⏱️ 45 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Though we’re hurt in relationships, we’re also healed in relationships. As we continue season 5 on relational intelligence, we discuss the ways we self-protect, why self-protection is a form of artificial intelligence, and how to break free. Our hope for this episode is to give you hope that you can surrender self-protection and discover deeper relational connection with those you love.
Time Stamps:
0:00 Introduction
4:00 The ripple effect of relational intelligence
5:00 Self-protection as a form of artificial intelligence
8:12 The ways we self-protect
18:38 Ways to surrender our self-protection
24:06 Christi shares what she’s learning in her own journey of self-protection
31:43 Self-protection, overcoming fear, and the softening of your heart toward others
38:22 Disconfirming experiences, holding hope, and healing your heart
Show Notes:
If you’re interested in a marriage you love, fill out this form: https://www.famousathome.com/loveyourmarriage
Register now for the Tender & Fierce Fall Cohort: https://www.famousathome.com/offers/dDt2Aobj/checkout
Download NONAH's single Find My Way Home by clicking here: https://bellpartners.ffm.to/findmywayhome
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Well, and I think it starts with you have to say what's true. |
| 0:05.0 | Like you actually have to say what is true. |
| 0:09.2 | So what are you afraid of? |
| 0:12.4 | Like at the core. |
| 0:14.5 | You are self-protecting out of fear. |
| 0:18.1 | What is the fear? |
| 0:20.7 | What is that big, like what is, I literally spent yesterday processing, |
| 0:26.0 | like, what is my biggest fear at the bottom of it all? I'm sure we all have multiple fears in life, |
| 0:32.8 | but the big one that's at the bottom, it is a root that often is the thing that filters up |
| 0:39.2 | through so many other things. Often it's because it was triggered very early. The enemy goes after |
| 0:45.0 | something, actually because the antithesis of it is how we're gifted, anointed, called, like, |
| 0:50.9 | in life. So you go to the root of it and then you will notice that thing has been repeated |
| 0:56.8 | throughout your life. So that lie, but also that, and therefore the fear that starts to attach to |
| 1:03.0 | it has just been continually repeated throughout your life. And it will be a theme. And so what is that for |
| 1:09.4 | you? Like say it out loud. |
| 1:12.2 | I won't lose hope in the night when the fire is growing down. |
| 1:19.4 | I'll just let go and I'll try. |
| 1:23.9 | Help me walk this road and find my way back home. |
| 1:30.3 | Find my way back home. |
| 1:42.3 | Welcome back to the famous and Donne podcast, Christy. |
| 1:46.2 | It's lovely to be with you again today. |
| 1:48.7 | It sounds like a radio announcer. |
... |
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