How Saying No Builds Confidence.
Sober Awkward
Victoria Vanstone
4.8 • 533 Ratings
🗓️ 26 June 2024
⏱️ 17 minutes
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Summary
In this weeks retrospective epiosde Vic and Hamsih look at why saying no can actually feel amazing!
You can listen to the full episode here:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/10MKVsOtPw9xiPlutpygny?si=PkKPGVHrR9Wf5_FmTaSQ_g
Show Notes
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | In the end, I had to sort of stand up, be tall and be honest about why I was stopping |
| 0:11.0 | and then no one could give me any peer pressure. |
| 0:13.2 | I found that just being honest was enough for people to stop and not question what I was doing. |
| 0:18.6 | I guess that's the challenges, because when you give up booze, you're not just giving up booze. |
| 0:22.5 | You're becoming the type of person that breaks the mould. Yeah. You know, it's a full character shift. It's not just not drinking a drink you used to drink. Yeah, exactly. I mean, by the time I gave up, I was so fed up with drinking. I knew no matter how hard anyone tried to persuade me, they would not win. |
| 0:39.7 | And that actually gave me loads of confidence in myself. And a kind of knowing, like knowing in my heart that I was doing the right thing for me. And that was enough to rid me of ever feeling pressured into anything ever again. The most amazing thing, Hamish, that has come with my sobriety is not caring what people |
| 0:56.4 | think about me. |
| 0:57.2 | I really don't give a shit anymore. |
| 0:58.9 | So that just kind of melts away from me now. |
| 1:01.7 | And I spent a life trying to fit in and created this reputation to keep everybody happy. |
| 1:07.6 | And it was a huge responsibility. |
| 1:09.4 | And I don't do that anymore. |
| 1:12.1 | So no one can have anything over me anymore because I actually don't care if people like me or they don't. So has it |
| 1:17.1 | had a knock on effect that you're now good at saying no to other things? My boundaries, something that |
| 1:22.5 | comes with sobriety is boundaries. I never had them before. People would take the piss out of me or be horrible to me. |
| 1:28.9 | And I never knew how to deal with it. I never knew how to react to people. But now I understand |
| 1:34.0 | when someone is unkind or someone's trying to peer pressure me or someone's doing something |
| 1:38.4 | that I don't like. I know that I have to step up and sort of safeguard myself, which I do do a lot nowadays. And it's |
| 1:45.3 | really satisfying. It's just satisfying, as we talked about in the last podcast, we talked about |
| 1:50.3 | clarity. And with sobriety, you have clarity to understand yourself and understand what makes you |
| 1:56.1 | happy. And sometimes having people around you that are trying to make you do something you don't |
| 2:00.7 | want to do is not right. |
... |
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