How Men Fall In Love

Daddy Issues with Violet Benson

Violet Benson

Violet Benson, Influencer, Kim Kardashian, Love And Relationships, Daddy Issues, Mental Health Expert, Breakups, Pop Culture, Millenials, Astrology, Men, #Pop Culture, Single, Manifesting, Jay Shetty, Dating And Relationships, Zodiac Signs, Self Love, Ted Talks, Gen Z, Personal Growth, Leo Skepi, Education, Toxic, Self Improvement, Dating Advice, Dating, Healing, Society & Culture, Jewish, Creator, Female Empowerment, Self Help, Personal, Celebrity News, Lgbtq, Immigrant, Life Coach, Personal Journals, Daddyissues, Expert, Comedy, Violetta Benson, Being 30, Russian, Adulting, Mel Robbins, Self-improvement, Lifestyle, Celebrities, Hannah Berner, Mental Health, Stand Up Comedy, Relationships, Slavic, Millenial, 30s

4.7 • 4.2K Ratings

🗓️ 4 June 2026

⏱️ 30 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Everyone thinks men fall in love because of chemistry. According to science? Not even close.

Violet breaks down what actually makes a man go from interested to invested, why so many women accidentally sabotage the early stages of dating, and the biggest mistake people make when they confuse attraction with commitment. From the science of attachment to the psychology of pursuit, Violet explains how men really bond, what makes them stay, and why forcing a relationship almost always backfires.

If you've ever found yourself wondering, "What are we?" this is for you.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Let's talk about the phase that nobody prepares you for, the space between dating someone and
0:04.5	actually being with them.
0:06.8	This is where most women destroy their entire relationship.
0:10.4	Not because you're a psycho, not because you're clingy, but because this is where you start
0:16.7	to imagine a commitment that has not happened yet.
0:20.6	You start to treat the connection like a
0:23.7	relationship. Meanwhile, he's still treating it like an observation period. And before you get offended
0:31.3	or get mad at me, babe, I've been there as well. This is just how men make decisions because
0:36.9	men do not fall in love of potential like women do.
0:40.3	They fall in love through performance over time, their own performance, by the way.
0:45.5	Not your performance, his.
0:47.8	And this is where most women mess up.
0:50.7	You try to speed it up.
0:52.5	You try to define the relationship before he's even shown up consistently.
0:58.0	You start, quote, quote, proving your value so you can stay around.
1:01.4	You start to fill in the gaps for him.
1:04.1	You start to emotionally invest at level 100 when he is still on the demo version.
1:10.8	I'm telling you, this is not confidence. This is not
1:13.0	connection. This is you dragging a relationship across the finish line because you want a man
1:19.4	at your sister's or friend's wedding six months from now. And he has not even decided if he wants
1:25.3	to race. Okay. So let me tell you the truth that your anxious brain refuses to accept.
1:30.8	Men do not commit because you're amazing.
	...

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