Under individualism and patriarchy, you can either be connected or you can be powerful,

but you can't be both at the same time.

Leading men and women and non-binary folk into intimacy is synonymous with leading men

beyond patriarchy and this culture of individualism. It's really a new frontier for all of us.

So what if being fiercely self-reliant and individualistic was actually a kind of a

terrible thing? I know I know it sounds silly, right? I mean, isn't that the very thing we're told

to strive for from the youngest age? And especially in our culture now, as adults,

the problem is living in a me first or a me over you world is not only destroying our personal

relationships, it's destroying us, our states of mind, and even our physical well-being,

and intimacy, do you connectedness, even reliance on and elevating others, just might be the

solution too much of what ails us? Now that idea may sound a little bit strange at first,

it's hard to argue that the rise of a wildly individualistic society has also gone hand in hand

with the destruction of social bonds and friendship, mental health, and nearly every marker of

health in communities as well. It turns out that as humans, we're all designed to be in relationship

with each other to experience the positive effects of connectedness. And when that breaks down,

we'll also do it. And today's guest, Terry Real, who likes to joke that he began his career as a

family therapist at the age of four drives home this point in a fascinating conversation on intimacy,

interconnectedness, trauma, relationships, and the power of us, especially at this moment in time.

Terry is an internationally recognized family therapist, speaker and author. He founded the

relational life institute offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents, and a professional

training program for clinicians to learn his relational life therapy methodology. In addition to

being a therapist and a teacher for over 25 years now, Terry is also the best-selling author of,

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