How Mattering to Yourself & Others Can Change Your Life with Oprah, Jennifer Wallace & Ina Garten

The Oprah Podcast

Harpo

Society & Culture

4.2 • 1.5K Ratings

🗓️ 27 January 2026

⏱️ 53 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Oprah is joined by award-winning journalist and New York Times bestselling author Jennifer Wallace to talk about her transformative new book "Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose." Drawing on six years of research, Wallace shares how mattering - the feeling that we are valued and have an opportunity to add value - is a fundamental human need essential to our well-being. She believes there's been "an erosion of mattering" and provides actionable steps to deepen your connections, reconnect to your sense of purpose and navigate challenges with greater resilience. Joining the conversation is Jennifer's close friend and lifestyle icon Ina Garten. Oprah and Jennifer also speak with a military wife who learned how to bring mattering back to her marriage and an extraordinary young man who went from being a sanitation worker to a Harvard Law School graduate. BUY THE BOOK! 'Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose' by Jennifer Wallace: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/756179/mattering-by-jennifer-breheny-wallace/ Chapters: 00:00:00 - Welcome Jennifer Wallace, author of “Mattering” 00:05:50 - Ina Garten joins 00:07:05 - The importance of mattering to yourself 00:08:40 - How Ina shows people they matter 00:09:30 - The importance of showing up 00:10:50 - One easy way to show people they matter 00:12:20 - The thread that ties us together 00:13:40 - Extrinsic and intrinsic values 00:15:50 - Professor Gordon Flett on why mattering is life or death 00:18:12 - How mattering affects our longevity 00:21:00 - How to get through hard moments 00:23:00 - How Army partners struggle with mattering 00:28:00 - Our resilience is tied to our relationships 00:34:00 - Mattering to ourselves raises the bar for all relationships 00:35:20 - A former sanitation worker's observations on mattering 00:42:00 - Supporting support staff 00:44:50 - Mattering at work 00:46:00 - The 4 important feelings to mattering 00:48:10 - What to do if you feel like you don’t matter Additional Resources: ‘Be Ready When the Luck Happens: A Memoir’ by Ina Garten: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/770511/be-ready-when-the-luck-happens-by-ina-garten/ Gordon L. Flett, Ph.D. https://www.yorku.ca/lamarsh/gord-flett/ ‘The Wives: A Memoir’ by Simone Gorrindo: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Wives/Simone-Gorrindo/9781982178505#:~:text=The%20Wives%20%7C%20Book%20by%20Simone,Official%20Publisher%20Page%20%7C%20Simon%20%26%20Schuster The Reciprocity Effect: https://www.thereciprocityeffect.org/Follow Oprah Winfrey on Social:https://www.instagram.com/oprahpodcast/https://www.facebook.com/oprahwinfrey/Listen to the full podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/0tEVrfNp92a7lbjDe6GMLIhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-oprah-podcast/id1782960381 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	So Ina never cancels unless she is really sick. Definitely. Yeah, yeah. I just don't.
0:05.5	And you just know it and it builds this trust and we live in this flake culture where people have really, I mean, I think it's a terrible thing to do.
0:14.0	It really erodes friendships. One way to make people feel like they matter is to commit to them.
0:19.8	So they can trust you. They can trust that when they make a plan, you will be there. The most lovely thing you can do to say to somebody you matter is say, come to dinner. And I mean, when was the last time somebody called and said, come for dinner? And you said, no, I'm not really interested in a home-cooked dinner. That's right. Of course you're going to say yes. Of course say yes. And when you show up, you create a community around yourselves.
0:43.0	Hey there, it's my pleasure to be with you here on the Oprah podcast in the great city of New York.
0:47.8	I often say that one of the biggest lessons I've ever learned from my life and career
0:52.8	of talking with thousands
0:55.6	of people is that at our core we all want to know that we matter it's one of our fundamental
1:01.7	desires as human beings every argument every interaction we've have really boils down to this do you see
1:08.9	me do you hear me and does what I say matter to you?
1:12.5	So when I saw the title of this book, Mattering, the Secret to a Life of Deep Connection,
1:21.2	I thought, Jennifer is speaking my language. It got my attention. And I love a Clementine too.
1:29.9	Then I open it up and I see that I am quoted on page 18 in this book. Pretty cool. My guest on this podcast today believes
1:38.3	that there has been an erosion of mattering. So that's why she was inspired to spend six years
1:43.9	researching it all over the world.
1:45.9	Jennifer Wallace is an award-winning journalist and founder of the Mattering Institute.
1:51.9	Did you know there was a Mattering Institute?
1:54.3	Well, welcome Jennifer to the podcast.
1:56.4	I hear everyone calls you Jenny, so I'm going to call you Jenny.
1:59.0	Great. Thanks, Oprah.
2:00.4	So I find this fascinating
2:02.5	that you asked hundreds of people around the world this question, do you feel like you matter?
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Harpo, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Harpo and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.