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What the hell is going on in the world of professional wrestling?

I mean, we now can't go through 24 hours before some news hits you right in the face and makes you go, what?

It's as if you're Strow Goldstein.

But for those who did miss it, Sean Ross Sapp, he of Fightful.com recently reported that Kevin Owens' contract with the WWE

isn't up in 2024 or 2025 or whatever the hell we thought it was going to be.

And in fact, it is due in January 2002.

Somebody blow the speculation horn.

Man, that is a rubbish speculation horn.

But let's just go into fantasy land now and say that Kevin Owens did leave while wrestling entertainment and he did go to all eat wrestling.

Here's how I sign up for what coach wrestler, the ball idiot, would do it.

A couple of things before we do get going.

Wherever Kevin Owens' KO decides to lay his hat and be a professional wrestler is awesome.

As a huge fan of his, all I think is that he should be used as a main inventor and by this point he should have been a multiple time world champion.

Sometimes I remember he's only been the universal champion once.

I'm like, that is absolutely ridiculous, especially because it ended after he got Goldberg.

But the guy can honestly do it all.

...