"How I Became Securely Attached"
Seeing Other People
Ilana Dunn
4.5 • 608 Ratings
🗓️ 4 July 2024
⏱️ 50 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
I'm joined by Lok, a 37 year old male living in Boston, Massachusetts. Lok joins the podcast to share his experience going from a disorganized attachment style to secrely attached. He opens up about how at times he felt overly anxious and other times feeling overly avoidant, and what steps he took to work on himself and get to a place where he's confident in who he is and what he has to offer. We discuss the nuances of getting advice from friends, how to find people you can open up to, and overcoming periods of intense anxiety and depression.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This podcast is brought to you by Podcast Nation. |
| 0:04.8 | Hey guys, it's Alana and you're listening to Seeing Other People Unfiltered. |
| 0:09.8 | It's Thursday, so that means real-life daters are coming on to share their real, sometimes shocking, and always unfiltered experiences. |
| 0:17.8 | Think you're alone out there? |
| 0:18.9 | Think you're the only one whose ex hooked up with your mom or whose last date ended up being a catfish? Think again. Think you're alone out there? Think you're the only one whose ex hooked up with your mom |
| 0:21.5 | or whose last date ended up being a catfish? Think again. So my name is Locke. I'm 38 years old. I'm a male. |
| 0:29.0 | I live near Boston. I'm also a teacher as well. I'm here to talk about how I've kind of transitioned |
| 0:35.8 | myself or kind of improved myself as far as |
| 0:38.8 | going from like disorganized attachment style to a more secure attachment style. I'm so excited to have |
| 0:45.1 | you and this is a topic that I get asked about a lot and you know before we hit record I said to you |
| 0:51.0 | like I'm excited because this feels in a way aspirational to many people. |
| 0:56.6 | And while that's a weird way to describe it, I do think there is truth to that because I think |
| 1:04.6 | I was talking to somebody about this the other day where so many of us are so quick to define |
| 1:09.2 | ourselves. And it's like, oh, well, like, I'm anxious |
| 1:12.1 | attached or like, I'm avoided. And that's just how I am. But the reality is, like, that is just |
| 1:17.8 | a marker of where you're at in a specific moment in your life. And the goal is to not feel that way |
| 1:25.6 | and to not approach relationships with that always being at the forefront. |
| 1:30.5 | And so to hear that you went from, you know, disorganized to secure is something that I think a lot of |
| 1:36.7 | people want to do, but they don't even know where to start. So they just don't try. |
| 1:41.4 | Yeah. It's definitely a long journey for me. I think I recognize it more when I was |
| 1:48.5 | in mid-20s and things like that. So that's when I started like, all right, there's definitely |
| 1:52.1 | something not, I want to avoid the word normal, but something that's something that just |
... |
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