Welcome to Ask Me Anything where Pastor J.D. gives quick answers to some of your really, really tough theological, ethical, leader or leadership questions.

I'm Matt Love, your host. And today we have a question from a listener, which we're very excited about.

Our listener, Eli, wrote into us and just shared his heart on something that's very personal that he's dealing with.

It's something that I'm sure a lot of us have struggled with at different times.

But he said, hello, Pastor Greer.

I'm struggling with how to honor a toxic mother.

I know the Bible teaches to honor your father and mother,

but I am unsure how to do this with a mother who is toxic and doesn't understand boundaries

that my future wife and I have set in place to protect our marriage a mother who is toxic and doesn't understand boundaries that my future wife

and I have set in place to protect our marriage. My question is, how does someone honor their parents

when the parents are toxic to their kids' lives? Well, Matt, let me first say to our listener.

I know that's a painful question to ask, and it's one that I actually get with some surprising frequency here at our church.

So I know it's something that a lot of people think about.

What does it mean to honor your parents?

And how long do you do that?

And what happens when they're telling you things that you know or not the right thing after

you become an adult and sometimes on into marriage?

They're saying things and they're trying to speak into your

life and control you in ways that you don't think is helpful. And like, you know, our listener is saying,

sometimes that's even toxic. You know, this brings us to one of the, one of the big ten, one of the ten

commandments. It's the fifth commandment. And what it says is honor your father and mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

Now, a couple things to understand this commandment that are important in terms of background.

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