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Live from the headquarters of Rancy Solutions, broadcasting from the pods of moving and

storage studio. It's the Ramsey Show where America hangs out to have a conversation about your life and your money.

I am Ramsey Persona, Rachel Cruz, hosting this hour with Dr. John Deloney. It's a free call anywhere in the country at

Triple 8, 825-225. We're talking about your relationships, your money, your career, your life, anything and everything. So give us a call.

Next is Rebecca out of Portland. Hey Rebecca, welcome to the show. Hi, thank you so much for taking my call. Absolutely. How can we help?

I'm about to be engaged and I need advice if I should stay with my boyfriend.

You have called the right place.

It's a lot of pressure. Oh my gosh, give us the story Rebecca. What is happening? So you're about to be engaged. You know this.

Rachel has never missed an episode of the bachelor. We have got you. Go for it.

So we've been dating for a year and a half. My boyfriend is recovering at his four years sober. A month ago he lapsed back into you fast forward to last night.

And I find I found out that he still has $10,000 in medical debt that I thought he had paid off.

Any time we've talked about those two situations, he's ended the conversation by saying I knew I shouldn't have told you about it.

I love this man's beer sleeve, but I'm really scared right now and I need some advice.

So a couple of things. Let me like so he struggles with addiction. Okay. That for me isn't a reason to say I'm out right and for your sobriety and having a rough day or you know,

take it some steps back. That's something that if you choose to engage in a marriage, you know what you're getting into and you've probably got addictive tendencies of your own and we're going to work through this together.

The part that has given me some significant pause that I think is the killer of relationships is secrets. This idea that I'm going to have an alternative life underneath my marriage and I'm going to have things that I keep in my drawers that she doesn't know about or he doesn't know about.

And secrets, there's a biology to secrets secrets kill you and they kill relationships. And so there's a deception and dishonesty here. I'm hiding stuff from you, right. That's the part that man, I think your instincts not saying you called us thing off, but I think there needs to be a truth telling time like no more secrets, no more.

I don't like that impulse. I knew I shouldn't have told you. Yeah, because Rebecca and why anybody says that. Is it because you if you can like be self aware enough to know are you defensive about like are you coming.

Do you fly off the handle again at it? Is it like that or is it you're just asking questions and trying to care for him and he still has that reaction.

Like what what are those conversations like?

I'm a pragmatist. So when we have those kinds of conversations, I listen and then I try to like find a solution. So that conversation last night ended because she said, you know, this that is old. It's not a thing.

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