Here's an email from a pastor who writes in to ask about one of those tricky pastoral

dilemmas that pop up from time to time.

He asks this, is it appropriate for pastors to hug female members of his church and

single women in particular?

What does appropriate pastoral affection towards the opposite sex look like for a pastor?

Pastoral question or any Christian question, I suppose.

And let me start with three Bible pointers, and then I'll talk from my own experience.

What I've learned.

Number one, the Bible speaks of a holy kiss.

From which I infer at least this, there is such a thing as a holy hug.

Second, the Bible also says, treat younger women as sisters, older women as mothers,

in other words, the atmosphere of the church should be a safe family place for healthy,

wholesome family affection.

Number three, the Bible says to the pure, all things are pure, which means that we need

to know ourselves.

If our thoughts are impure, and our hearts are impure, then a hug may be impure.

So the issue is a deep heart issue, and we need to be doing work there before we start

getting strategies in our head about doing the right kind of hugging.

Okay, on the basis of those three and from my experience, here's what I've learned.

I've hugged, could night, what, thousands, hundreds of women, most of them right in front

of the church after a service, or after a speaking event, I mean, lots of women with

tears in their eyes, having been transformed by something I wrote, say, can I hug you?

...