How Do I Deal with His Rage? [317]

Flying Free

Natalie Hoffman

Emotional, Narcissism, Christianity, Abuse, Religion & Spirituality, Spiritual, Christian, Self-improvement, Education, Divorce, Marriage

5 • 1K Ratings

🗓️ 4 March 2025

⏱️ 13 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In today’s episode, I answer a question about surviving a husband’s rage while still in the home and preparing to leave. I want to share insights on coping strategies, the importance of unhooking from an abuser’s words, and how to create a safety plan. If you're living in survival mode, this episode offers encouragement and practical steps to help you move toward freedom and healing.

Key Takeaways:

Fear is a natural response to an abusive environment. Trying to "toughen up" emotions to endure abuse is not the solution; rather, finding ways to escape is essential.
Unhook from his words. An abuser’s insults and accusations are projections of their own delusions, not reflections of your worth.
Abusers see their victims as LEGO characters. They create a false narrative about who you are and expect you to conform. Recognizing this can help you detach emotionally.
Radical acceptance is necessary. Understand that an abusive partner does not want genuine connection—only control and transaction.
Survival mode is not living. Every day you endure abuse is survival, but true healing comes from stepping into a life of freedom.
You deserve a future beyond survival. Healing is possible, and there are communities and resources to help you move forward.

Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

Need a resource to help you as you unhook? Check out my interview with the founder of the app, Aimee Says, and then try it out for yourself!
Want a free chapter of my book, “Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage”? Sign up for my mailing list, and I’ll send a copy straight to your inbox.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, this is Natalie Hoffman of Flying FreeNow.com, and you're listening to the Flying Free Podcast,
0:08.9	a support resource for women of faith looking for hope and healing from hidden emotional and spiritual abuse.
0:18.0	Welcome to episode 317 of the Flying Free Podcast.
0:23.3	I want to start by reading this review from a listener.
0:26.4	She wrote this.
0:27.7	When I was crying out to God over my painfully confusing marriage with a soul ache that screamed to heaven,
0:34.5	do you see me?
0:36.4	I didn't know that finally God would answer me. He answered me in a way
0:41.0	unexpected. The Flying Free podcast has been a light piercing the darkness of my life, a beacon in a
0:47.8	storm that I thought would drown me. My journey isn't over, but now I have hope. I know that God sees me.
0:55.2	And he sees you too, dear friend.
0:57.7	Thank you to Natalie for this amazing gift.
1:00.4	Thank you, Winter, for sharing this encouraging review.
1:03.9	I feel so privileged to be able to share this work with you and others like you and to hear stories of how God has used it to lift you up
1:12.0	and bring you more of his love and hope and peace in your life, even in the middle of your own
1:19.0	personal dark storm. If you are a regular listener and this podcast has made a difference in your
1:25.0	own life, consider leaving a rating and review to increase the
1:29.2	chances of others being introduced to this podcast when they are searching for a light in the
1:34.9	darkness. And now, let's listen to our listener question. My question is, how do we handle,
1:51.8	how do we survive, basically, when the husband has an episode of rage and we are not yet able to leave the home and we're still preparing, so we have to stick it out until we're ready to leave.
2:03.8	How do we handle without the rage causing us such fear that it causes us physical illness from the fear
2:14.3	of possible abuse or the threats that he may say that make us afraid will be
	...

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