How did your crazy ex become your crazy ex?

After I broke up with her, she used makeup to make fake bruising on her arms, neck, and face.

She then proceeded to send pictures of all of this to our mutual friends as a warning about me.

I suspected that she was crazy long before I knew her, but I realized that she was a freaking psychopath when she asked me to euthanize

my dog because he was taking up too much of our time.

Holy crap, that's a nightmare.

Yeah, I had to pull to the side of the road to finish that conversation because I started

shaking uncontrollably after those words sank in.

Dude, that is what we call a stage five clinger.

Put an ad in the paper, became a lady of the night, brought clients to our family home,

we had kids.

If finding out your partner was cheating was an Olympic sport, this guy might be taking home

the gold.

I can't decide if this is hilarious

or horrifying. Sims' characters should never date their neighbors. Ever had a girlfriend threatened

to harm herself because your Sims character is dating the computer-generated neighbor? I did.

She woke me up because I had the night sweats and she was convinced I had AIDS.

For some reason, I decided to appease her and I got a full STD screening test, including an expensive AIDS test.

A few weeks later, I drove to her house and gave her my signed note, which I specifically had to request from my doctor, stating my clean bill of health.

She accused me of foraging the entire thing, and in the following argument, pulled out her

plates out of her cupboard and started frisbeeing them at me.

I left immediately.

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