How Codependency Impacts Our Relationships

The Angry Therapist Podcast

John Kim

Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.6 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 6 March 2024

⏱️ 20 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, John and Vanessa talk about how codependency impacts our relationships with others along with the relationship we have with our selves. They talk about what codependency and enmeshment looks like in our relationships, how attachment styles come into play, and how they have healed from their codependency issues with each other and others. Want to dive more into these topics as a couple? John and Vanessa are hosting an in person couples retreat in Idyllwild, CA April 19-21st! You can find more information and sign up here: https://theangrytherapist.circle.so/c/inmiy-retreat-mainfeed/ Roughly ten minutes of self help in a shot glass. If you're looking for a wine glass, you've come to the wrong place. Marriage family therapist and best-selling author, John Kim, shares his life and love revelations as well as insights from his sessions. He pulls the curtain back and documents his journey as a therapist but more importantly, as a human being. Meet him at -> https://www.theangrytherapist.com Join his private communities -> https://theangrytherapist.circle.so/home Get his daily texts here -> https://www.theangrytherapist.com/text Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, my name is John Kim. I'm a therapist who went through his own
0:04.3	rebirth many years ago and I've been documenting my journey ever since sharing my life
0:08.9	lessons and revelations. I believe in casual over clinical with you instead of at you. I come unrehearsed on purpose
0:16.4	because self-help doesn't have to be so complicated.
0:21.4	How does cod dependency affect your relationship as well as your relationship with self?
0:28.0	Okay, so codependency, how does that impact our relationships?
0:35.0	Co-dependency recovery is synonymous with identity work, right?
0:42.0	So... identity work, right? So somebody who acts in a cod dependent way does so from a lack of
0:51.1	self-knowledge, self-understanding, self-esteem, self-worth, trust in self-right.
0:57.7	So by nature of recovering from codependency you are actually building an identity.
1:03.0	You're building a sense of self.
1:04.9	And so when we talk about how it affects the relationship with the self,
1:09.0	that is how it affects it, right?
1:11.0	It basically is almost a mask for a lack of relationship with self.
1:15.0	And then as far as how it affects your relationships,
1:20.0	if you kind of play that tape out, right?
1:22.0	If you kind of follow the thread out right if you kind of follow the thread whatever metaphor you want to use
1:25.6	if I don't have a very solid sense of self or an established sense of like who I am
1:36.4	what my values are, you know, just like I say, self-understanding, self-knowledge, that's going to impact my relationships because I'm
1:40.1	not really ever going to show up authentically, right? Or I'm only going to show up as
1:45.0	authentically as I know myself to be. And so you can only get so intimate, you can only get
1:51.1	so vulnerable when you don't know the depths of who you are if that makes sense
	...

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