How Christian Women Resist Oppression in Their Marriages [328]

Flying Free

Natalie Hoffman

Emotional, Narcissism, Christianity, Abuse, Religion & Spirituality, Spiritual, Christian, Self-improvement, Education, Divorce, Marriage

5 • 1K Ratings

🗓️ 20 May 2025

⏱️ 16 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

So many of you come to me and say things like, "Natalie, I was such a doormat. I just stood there and let it all happen."

Listen up, beautiful butterfly: You didn’t “just stand there.” You were resisting the entire time, and no one told you that’s what it was. Until now.

In this episode, I shine a flashlight on the small but powerful acts of resistance Christian women pull off daily in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages. We’re talking journal-hiding, secret-crying, sanity-preserving, Jesus-whispering defiance that deserves a standing ovation—but probably got met with church lady side-eye instead.

Here’s what you’ll learn:

What resistance really looks like
Why keeping your mouth shut can be a power move
How even the tiniest choice—like skipping his coffee—can be the first domino to freedom
Why the culture you were raised in trained you to erase your own bravery—and how we’re done with that now

Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

This podcast script is inspired by Allan Wade’s article, “Small Acts of Living: Everyday Resistance to Violence and Other Forms of Oppression.”
Some related Flying Free Podcast episodes you may enjoy: “Should a Christian Wife Submit to an Abusive Husband?” and “An Emotional Recovery Tool That Changes Everything.”

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, beautiful butterfly.
0:03.3	Welcome to episode 328 of the Flying Free Podcast.
0:07.8	I'm Natalie Hoffman, and today we're going to talk about something that every single woman listening to this podcast has already done,
0:15.6	probably more times than she can count, but she's never gotten credit for it.
0:24.5	I'm talking about resistance. And no,
0:29.4	I don't mean resistance like when you're trying to avoid sugar for a day, and then you find yourself standing in front of the fridge with a spoon and a tub of chocolate frosting. I'm talking
0:35.6	about the kind of resistance that saves your life in the middle of a
0:40.7	destructive relationship without anybody even knowing it. You resist every single day. You just
0:47.9	don't realize it. And that's because, just like with everything else in these kinds of toxic dynamics,
0:53.5	your resistance has
0:55.8	been made invisible. But today, we're going to name it. We're going to shine a big old light on it,
1:04.1	because beautiful butterfly, you've been doing some brave stuff, and it's time you heard the truth about it.
1:11.4	Hi, this is Natalie Hoffman of FlyingFreeNow.com, and you're listening to the Flying Free
1:18.0	Podcast, a support resource for women of faith looking for hope and healing from hidden
1:24.4	emotional and spiritual abuse.
1:31.8	There's this article I recently read by a guy named Alan Wade.
1:34.5	It's called Small Acts of Living.
1:36.0	Don't worry.
1:40.2	It's not a 10 steps to your best life now kind of a thing. It's actually about the quiet, subversive, often unnoticed ways that people, especially
1:46.7	people who are being oppressed or abused, push back. He says that whenever someone is mistreated,
1:54.1	they always resist in some way. Always. It might not look like yelling or slamming a door, although, let's be honest, sometimes it does, and hey, snaps for that, but it's there. And that resistance, it's a powerful part of what keeps you, you. And listen, I know some of you are thinking, Natalie, I stayed in that marriage for 30 years and barely
2:19.5	set a peep. I am the opposite of resistant. I was a doormat with a cross around her neck.
	...

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