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Try and 11. Nicole, welcome to the program. Hi, Dr. Laura. Thank you for taking my call.

You're welcome. My question is I have a, I have an eye have been married for 20 years. I'm 41 and he's 49 and we've two girls.

Um, four and 14 and he is getting ready to turn 50 and he seems he's been talking about it a little bit next July, but he's been talking about it and.

I was just wondering how I could support him. It's he been. You can't you can't. This is something people do internally. I like women men. Everybody wants to fix.

How can I make this be different?

I'm going to back up. What is he saying about being 50? That he wishes he would have accomplished more. He wishes he would have accomplished more in his life.

And it might have been useful for you to say like what? In other words, let's hear more like what honey? Well, you, you chose to do blank, which was wonderful, which means you couldn't do that.

But that you couldn't that you look back and all the things you may have wanted to do in your life, you still have to pick and choose.

And then life brings other challenges. So you don't support by poor baby. You are wonderful. Everything it did was great. I don't know why you're feeling that way.

It's fair to say well, would you have give up the kids in me to go back and do X, Y, or Z? I mean, everything is a choice.

You're right. You're right. So help him think through it.

Okay. All right, Dr. Laura. Thank you.

But don't try to make it all better. This is the kind of soul searching and assessing one's life that people go through more than one time in their life.

Okay.

So here I'm out. Get more. Okay. You keep trying to get rid of me. All right. Bye.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm sorry. No, I'm saying thank you. Bye.

Oh, no, I'm sorry. No, I didn't mean it like that. Thank you. That's very good input. Thank you.

So just sit with him. Put your feet up. Give him cup of coffee or glass of wine. Well, he's an alcoholic. And say, let's, let's talk this through.

And here's something else. Call.

What do you know? You will never accomplish because you made other choices. What are you leaving behind? Tell me now.

You want me to say it or you want me to say it? Yes. I tell me now is usually, yes. Tell me.

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