Hi, we're here from Curiosity.com to help you get smarter in just a few minutes.

I'm Cody Gough.

And I'm Ashley Hamer.

Today you learn about the surprising power behind our need to feel socially connected,

with special guest Vivian Zias.

You'll also learn about some ways to make your commute a little happier.

Let's satisfy some curiosity.

Research shows that when humans feel left out, they feel it in a powerful way. That's according to a lot of research into

social exclusion and feelings of loneliness, including some from the

personality attachment and control laboratory at Cornell University.

We have an incredible story about that work on today's edition of our Mentality Monday's

mini-series with the Director of the Lab, Vivian Sius.

She told us that humans are inherently social beings who want to

belong and connect, and our default mode is being in relationships. There's an argument that

from an evolutionary perspective that's good because when we're socially connected

we have better access to shelter allies, potential mates, and lots of other great stuff.

But there's a flip side to wanting to feel included. Here's Professor

Tzias with more. We're very sensitive to being left out and when we're left

out it triggers this alarm, the psychological alarm.

And that alarm is subjectively felt as sort of pain.

Like when we're left out, when we're rejected, when we're not part of a group, it elicits distress

and it elicits what's called social pain, and there's work showing that social pain overlaps with physical pain.

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