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Five, four, three, two, one.

Wendy Bell, America's anchor mom.

Fighting for America one hour at a time.

And sending the left. A big bag of Durban's.

She once gave a filibuster only using punchlines.

The teleprompter reads from her notes.

The Constitution asked her for an autograph.

She once ended an argument before it began.

Even her coffee leans right.

She once fact check the fact checkers, and they issued her a retraction.

She doesn't get shadow banned. Shadows ask her permission.

She convinced the border wall to build itself.

She once lowered inflation with a coupon.

Her radio delay button runs ahead of her, just in case.

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