Attention all passengers.

The Uber ride for Mark and Jamal's romantic weekend

will depart in four minutes from Platform 6.

Your ride comes with a rolling countryside sunset view

and a table seat, ideal for playing footsie beneath.

Thank you for booking your tickets on Uber.

Trains on Uber.

America, let me brace you for something right now, okay?

Today's first take is a very, very, very unique episode of first take.

Because you see right now, even though it's supposed to be the world against Stephen A, but it's all in fun. It's serious this morning because I've got not one, but two Benedict Arnold's in our studio in New York City. Legends in their own right. One is that damn doggy, Mad Dog Russo, who lives to betray New Yorkers at every turn, even though his career was made by New Yorkers doing sports talk radio for decades.

Every chance he gets, he goes against New York.

And that damn Michael Wilbar, the legend, the godfather, the man, the myth, the legend, my big brother, except for when it comes to the New York Knicks.

You see that smile on his face?

That's conspiring.

That's him conspiring to bring down the New York Knicks.

They are not for us.

They are not for us.

They are here on first take to be against us, New York.

But we ain't having it.

Your boys in the house.

I'll take a bolt on, damn it.

They got to go down.

...