Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats.

The show is about to begin.

I am so viscerally afraid of accidentally texting the chief of police.

Kind of weird, that's all she wrote.

You are in my thoughts and prayers in perpetuity.

Now mind you, I don't even have the chief of police's phone number, and why would I?

Hello, everyone, and welcome back to monologuing.

I'm Mads Mitch, and I am your host today and always because

well quite frankly this is literally my podcast so who else is going to host it. Happy freaking Monday.

It is Monday September 1st, which is beautiful. September 1st, falling on a Monday feels very, very

very serendipitous. It feels like the stars are aligning. However, it's not like a real Monday,

hopefully for many of you in the U.S. It's like the stars are aligning. However, it's not like a real Monday, hopefully,

for many of you in the U.S. It's Labor Day. I hope you get to take a respite from all of your labor. It's what's known in the UK as a bank holiday. So hopefully a lot of people are able to

have the day off. I hope you're able to enjoy a long weekend with beautiful weather.

That is my wish for you, but, but it's already passed. I hope, I hope you've had a wonderful

weekend is what I'm getting at. I personally cannot believe that it is September 1st. Labor Day

weekend is kind of like the unofficial end of summer. And I know we have a few more weeks until it's like officially autumn, but it feels crazy. I know that it's like such a cliche to be like, wow, the summer flew by. Name one thing that happened this summer. I can't. The only things that happened this summer were I got my wisdom tooth out and Taylor and Travis got engaged. That's literally all I have. Nothing good happened this summer at all ever. And if you think something good happened to you this summer, I probably didn't. I'm sorry, if I have to suffer in this, you have to suffer as well. Like nothing, just like this summer was so blech. It was like thumbs down, boo, boo, boo, tomato, tomato, hiss, hiss. Like I don't. I do not condone. I don't love this summer, which is why I'm honestly,

like, I hate to say it, but I am excited. I'm excited because September marks, September is a great

month, first of all. Traditionally and historically, the weather is pretty good. It's pretty good.

It's in Massachusetts for like the last week. It's been like consistently in like the mid to low 70s and sunny, which is my, that is my dream society.

That is my utopian society.

I live for that.

...