Hole in One: History of the bagel
Forever Ago
Lemonada Media
4.4 • 5.3K Ratings
🗓️ 5 June 2024
⏱️ 33 minutes
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| 0:00.0 | All rise. The forever ago court is now in session. Please welcome the Honorable |
| 0:10.3 | Judge Ariana. Aureana. |
| 0:13.0 | Thank you, thank you. |
| 0:14.0 | You may be seated. |
| 0:16.0 | Today we hear the case of DOLO versus Bagel. |
| 0:19.0 | Do you want to tell me your side of the story, Miss DOLO? |
| 0:22.0 | Yes, Judge. It all started on a cold |
| 0:24.8 | Monday morning I was born in a hospital located just beyond the Tennessee River |
| 0:29.3 | when my no no not your life story. Why are you in my courtroom today? |
| 0:35.6 | Oh, oh, sorry. I'm here because that bagel over there is a fraud. I ordered an everything bagel with everything on it but this |
| 0:50.6 | bagel just had a bunch of seeds, some dried garlic, and salt. |
| 0:55.2 | Those are the toppings on an everything bagel. |
| 0:59.6 | Oh yeah, well where are the blue, or the sardines, or the raindrops, and everything bagels should have everything? |
| 1:10.0 | I'm talking roller skates, a pterodactyl skeleton. |
| 1:13.5 | Miss Dole, that's not actually how that... |
| 1:15.8 | Bonsai trees, lucky rabbits feet, four leaf clovers, |
| 1:19.4 | beetle juice. |
| 1:20.3 | Joy, hold on. |
| 1:21.6 | What are you talking about? An everything bagel doesn't have everything on it. |
| 1:28.1 | That's impossible and kind of gross now that I think about it. |
| 1:33.0 | I throw myself on the mercy of the court. |
| 1:37.0 | I plead the fifth. |
... |
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