Hold Me Tight! Conversations For a Lifetime of Love

The Virtual Couch

Tony Overbay LMFT

Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.9 • 668 Ratings

🗓️ 23 March 2021

⏱️ 59 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Tony shares the foundational principles of Dr. Sue Johnson's Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT/EFCT) from her book "Hold Me Tight." Tony referenced a review from Dan's blog "A Laughing Soul" (https://alaughingsoul.wordpress.com/2012/04/24/hold-me-tight-seven-conversations-for-a-lifetime-of-love/). Tony shares how his "4 Pillars of a Connected Conversation" a key component to his Magnetic Marriage course (http://tonyoverbay.com/magnetic) can significantly help implement the tools of EFT in your marital and personal relationships. The next round of the Magnetic Marriage Course is launching soon! Go sign up now to find out details about the launch.

From A Laughing Soul blog: What Is Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT)? The message of EFT is simple: Forget about learning how to argue better, analyzing your early childhood, making grand romantic gestures, or experimenting with new sexual positions. Instead, recognize and admit that you are emotionally attached to and dependent on your partner in much the same way that a child is on a parent for nurturing, soothing, and protection.

EFT focuses on creating and strengthening this emotional bond by identifying and transforming the key moments that foster a loving, adult relationship. • EFT has an astounding 70 – 75% success rate and results have been shown to last, even in the face of significant stress. • EFT is recognized by the American Psychological Association as empirically proven. HOLD ME TIGHT presents a streamlined version of EFT. It walks the reader through seven conversations that capture the defining moments in a love relationship and instructs how to shape these moments to create a secure and lasting bond. Case histories and exercises in each conversation bring the lessons of EFT to life.

Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ

Transcript

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0:00.0	So would you be surprised if I were to tell you that distress and a relationship adversely affects
0:05.3	our immune and our hormonal systems, even to the ability to heal ourselves?
0:10.4	And one fascinating experiment, psychologist Janice Kee-Colt Glazer of Ohio State University
0:15.3	had newlyweds fight and then took blood samples over the next several hours.
0:20.4	And she found that the more belligerent
0:22.3	and contemptuous the partners were the higher level of stress hormone and the more depressed the immune
0:29.2	system. And these effects persisted for up to 24 hours after this fight, after this conflict. And
0:36.4	an even more astounding study, Kekolt Glazer used a
0:39.7	vacuum pump to produce small blisters on the hands of women volunteers and then had them fight with
0:45.2	their husbands. And the nastier the fight, the longer it took for the women's skin to heal.
0:51.1	So coming up on today's episode of the virtual couch, I'm going to dig into my old favorite
0:55.8	emotionally focused therapy. It's a method developed by Sue Johnson, and it is one of the only
1:01.4	empirically based methods recognized by the American Psychological Association as is empirically
1:08.2	proven in the world of couples therapy. EFT emotionally focused focused therapy for couples, has an astounding 70 to 75% success rate,
1:15.6	and results have even been shown to last even in the face of significant stress.
1:19.9	So the message of EFT is pretty simple.
1:22.7	Forget about learning how to argue better or analyzing your early childhood
1:25.9	or making these grand romantic gestures
1:27.8	or even experimenting with things like new sexual positions. Instead, recognize and admit that we
1:33.2	are emotionally attached to and dependent. Now, dependent in a healthy kind of way on your partner,
1:38.5	much the same way that a child is dependent on a parent for the nurturing, soothing, and protection.
1:43.4	But what EFT focuses on is creating
	...

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