Hit Me With Ya Best Shot: The Wacky World of Martial Arts Frauds

True Crime Campfire

True Crime, History, Society & Culture

4.7 • 1.6K Ratings

🗓️ 14 March 2025

⏱️ 48 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this week’s episode, we are going to be looking at “Bullshido,” a catch-all term for martial arts practices that are either fake, delusional, or just plain useless. This is the land of no-touch knockouts, touches of death, and mystical masters who can’t manage their own lives. We’ll be asking the question—should you learn self-defense from summon who struggles with basic reality? Spoiler, the answer is no, no you shouldn’t. This is a fun one, y'all. Nobody dies, and everybody is an absolute goober. Sources:Interesting Stuff From Around the World YouTube channel (videos on Ashida Kim, George Dillman and Steven Seagal, plus much more): https://youtube.com/@interestingstufffromaround8014?si=E9-UiKKcTZQ4ng-Jhttps://ashidakim.com/The Dance of the Deadly Hands https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Xw5wjwVkFc&t=36sNinja “levitation” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tl3QF3t58RkNinja curtains https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCaZmajZ_g4&t=258sKim catches a bullet https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PJZjwWwFc4Kim dodges bullets https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bc1sN7eeyvM&t=78s https://www.dillman.com/George Dillman on tongues and toes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIL5nD2PQ0Y&t=326s George’s chi bullet https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYez2RKQn8c&t=748sGeorge mostly resurrects a pet https://www.youtube.com/shorts/w7hgVWbPxG8Seagal’s Lightning Bolt ad https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IId64OJdCKM Seagal running weird https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwwXE-T4HPI Seagal’s very real Russian aikido demo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmEx8Moy7ro Seagal essential oils https://members.tripod.com/life_scents/oldfiles/seagal.html Join Katie and Whitney, plus the hosts of Last Podcast on the Left, Sinisterhood, and Scared to Death, on the very first CRIMEWAVE true crime cruise! Pay up front or set up a payment plan. Get your fan code now--tickets go on sale February 7: CrimeWaveatSea.com/CAMPFIRE Follow us, campers!Patreon (join to get all episodes ad-free, at least a day early, an extra episode a month, and a free sticker!): https://patreon.com/TrueCrimeCampfirehttps://www.truecrimecampfirepod.com/Facebook: True Crime CampfireInstagram: Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello, campers, grab your marshmallows and gather around the true crime campfire.
0:04.8	We're your camp counselors. I'm Katie. And I'm Whitney.
0:08.1	And we're here to tell you a true story that is way stranger than fiction.
0:12.0	We're roasting murderers and marshmallows around the true crime campfire.
0:20.0	In this week's episode, we're going to be looking at bullshito, a catch-all term for martial arts
0:25.4	practices that are either fake, delusional, or just plain useless. This is the land of no-touch
0:31.6	knockouts, touches of death, and mystical masters who can't manage their own lives. We'll be asking the question.
0:39.2	Should you learn self-defense from someone who struggles with basic reality?
0:43.6	Spoiler, the answer is no.
0:45.5	You probably shouldn't.
0:47.2	This is Hit Me With Your Best Shot, the Wacky World of Martial Arts Frauds.
0:51.5	Music of martial arts frauds.
1:08.1	Ninja movies came to life in 1960s, Japan, some of them fairly serious, a lot more of them,
1:11.6	really silly, and for the most part they weren't seen by the rest of the world. It wasn't until 1980s the Octagon, that ninjas made a splash in the U.S. market,
1:17.9	with the movie taking in about $19 million, around half of what the likes of Caddyshack and Friday
1:23.4	the 13th made in the same year, which is honestly pretty good. It had lots of angry men
1:28.3	hitting each other. You got to see a boob for like a tenth of a second, and you learned that
1:32.9	the apogee of martial arts skill was a white American dude with a mustache. In this case,
1:39.1	Chuck Norris, of course. This was largely the formula followed by American ninja movies of the 80s,
1:46.1	which cleaned up in the exploding home video market. One notable exception was Ninja 3,
1:52.5	The Domination, where the spirit of an evil ninja possesses the body of an aerobics instructor
1:57.8	who likes to turn on her boyfriends by pouring V8 juice down her cleavage.
	...

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