This is a passenger announcement. You can now book your train on Uber and get 10% back in credits to spend on Uber eats.

So you can order your own fries instead of eating everyone else's.

Trains, now on Uber. T's called this not because I literally know nothing, but because it's all about the moment

in the week when I have to sit down and write my column but have absolutely no idea what to write

it about. Which is where my wife Esther comes in, who, having read all the papers whilst I take the kids to school,

always has half a dozen ideas picked out for me when I get back to be discussed at the kitchen

table over a nice cup of coffee. thing.

Have you done any homework, Jiles? I've done so much homework.

I've like done so much homework and I pretty much know what I'm going to write my column about.

So in a way, this podcast is completely superfluous.

I don't need to know what you think.

Funny, the funny thing is doing this is so,

we are so transported back to our kind of school personalities.

You just doing all your homework and sort of shouting out answers and stuff.

There were no girls there.

I suppose they were a bit later.

Briefly later.

But they did even more her.

Wait a minute, you're saying I was a swat at school?

You're getting a bit twitchy when you say that.

That's what like, yes, I am saying you're a massive swat.

You were a massive swat too,

...