Hiding In The Bathroom: Social Anxiety And You with Dr. Ellen Hendriksen & Arvind Rajan

The Anxious Achiever

Morra Aarons-Mele

Business, Careers, Management, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.7 • 599 Ratings

🗓️ 12 March 2026

⏱️ 44 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

What if the anxiety you feel walking into a meeting, networking event, or conference isn’t a personal flaw, but social anxiety? In this episode, clinical psychologist Dr. Ellen Hendriksen talks about the psychology behind social anxiety and why avoidance keeps it alive. She breaks down the belief at the core of social anxiety and tools to challenge anxious thoughts, manage shame, and build confidence even when anxiety is still present. Then, entrepreneur and former LinkedIn executive Arvind Rajan shares what it’s like to build a successful career while living with social anxiety. Tune in to learn how to manage social anxiety, build confidence, and show up fully. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off. In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why social anxiety is the most common type of anxiety. 02:00 The 2 types of avoidance that keep social anxiety alive. 05:00 What’s the difference between generalized anxiety and social anxiety? 07:45 How social anxiety shows up in the workplace. 09:45 The strengths that often come with social anxiety. 14:00 How shame and fear of judgment affect leadership. 18:00 A framework for managing social anxiety. 22:45 When did you realize that you have social anxiety? 24:30 Why forcing yourself through anxiety doesn’t always work. 28:30 Why authenticity makes leaders more effective. 31:45 How leaders can build teams that support different personalities. Resources + Links Get Dr. Ellen Hendriksen’s book How to Be Yourself HERE Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Ellen on LinkedIn @ellenhendriksen Follow Arvind on LinkedIn @arvindrajan

Transcript

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0:00.0	I'm Maury Arons-Mili, and this is the anxious achiever.
0:08.3	You know, if I had to call you, I probably would try to avoid calling you.
0:14.1	Not because I don't like you, but because sometimes I have social anxiety.
0:19.8	And indeed, a lot of us do. It's the most common type of anxiety.
0:25.9	Our culture seems to value someone who can instantly own the room, right? Extroverted, smooth, right?
0:41.9	Not someone who, as the title of my first book, can attest,
0:49.4	hides in the bathroom. And I'm here to tell you that that is just stupid. Any given cocktail party networking event, social event, your kids' soccer game that you go to, a good amount of the people
0:57.0	are going to be feeling anxious about how they look, how they talk, and are going to think
1:02.3	they're being judged. But social anxiety for some of us keeps us from living our best life.
1:10.8	It keeps us hiding. And today I have Dr. Ellen Hendrickson,
1:15.5	who is an expert on social anxiety. She wrote a great book called How to Be Yourself. And she
1:22.3	teaches at Boston University's Card Center. And she is here to help us manage social anxiety from the
1:31.3	every day to the kind that really benefits from help. And we also hear from someone who's an
1:38.2	extremely successful business leader who manages social anxiety, my friend Arvin Rajan.
1:45.4	Arvin co-founded and led cricket health most recently to a very successful exit.
1:51.9	So he'll tell you how he succeeded in business while also sometimes wanting to hide in the
1:58.0	bathroom.
2:01.7	So many of us have anxiety, and it can happen in many different ways.
2:08.5	But fundamentally, that anxiety is maintained through avoidance.
2:14.1	And avoidance can occur in two ways.
2:17.4	So there's overt avoidance where if we think nobody at the party is going to talk to us, or if the meeting is going to be awkward if we say our idea, we'll stay home or we'll stay silent, that avoidance maintains the anxiety because we never get to learn
2:35.3	that the worst case scenario that we imagine doesn't always happen and that really we can handle
	...

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