Hey guys, so last week we got to basically learn how big of a jerk I was during my

marriage and learn about my children and things that I had done that I was

truly regretful for. This week you're going to probably get into the deepest part

of the book. This is the part where we talk about basically suicide, moving

forward depression. This is where everything really kicks into high gear and

it's definitely the hardest part for me to relive. The thing about doing this

book and one of the reasons why I put it off so long doing the audio version

is I really struggled writing the book just reliving every instance. I had to

actually go look up some dates and stuff you know for like the house being

haunted when my parents bought the house that type of thing. But I also had to

make sure that I got facts right on you know the day the suicide was on a

Monday. A suicide attempt was on a Monday. You know I had to look things up

like that and so I couldn't just skim over these things and as I'm you know

now that I'm at the point where I'm reading the stories you know I've not

physically picked this book up or read anything about it since it got printed

in a year's time you know and now I have to go back and not only read it but I

have to read it in a way that sounds convincing and put emotion into it which

means that I can't just blow over it. I literally have to read it and it makes

it very emotional especially when you get to some of the stuff about my mother

and this part here when you start talking about the suicide attempt and reading

about the pain it just brings it all back and you know I I hate doing it. I've

you can ask Tracy I mean I put this off to the very last a minute to do every

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