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So before we start, if you or the people you're listening with will be offended by

f***ing, f***ing, f***ing, and f***ing.

Well, it's probably best you turn this f***ing podcast off right now.

Hello, I'm Kathy Burke and welcome to this dark corner of the podcast sphere,

where a familiar, comforting cup of Yorkshire gold is evaporated in the fires of air.

Speaking of hate, is anyone giving the raging furnace of damn nation a little poke recently?

Oi, dear, can't get the stuff. So welcome to...

As we watch the antique grandfather clock tick tick away the mortal minutes,

it's time to welcome our guests to this rotting realm.

Now some podcasts like the Natarabat history with their guests,

others are asking for their favourite films, but on this show, we ask our guests to plan their

perfect funeral. I mean, there's around 100% chance that it'll happen to you,

so you might as well start planning and joining me today, ladies and gentlemen,

to tell us about their fantasy funeral is the quite brilliant Jamali Maddox.

Yo. Hello, Jamali. How you doing? Thank you for having me.

Oh, babe, it's very, very nice to meet you. Nothing you do.

...