Helping siblings with boundaries

My New Life

Kate Garlinge

Loveverytoddler, Toddlerplay, Toddlereducation, Playtolearn, Smartbaby, Babymilestones, Toddleractivities, Loveverybaby, Babyeducation, Strongtoddler, Toddlermilestones, Toddlersubscriptionbox, Toddlertoys, Earlylearningprogram, Babydevelopment, Sustainabletoys, Learningtoys, Learningthroughplay, Strongbaby, Babysubscriptionbox, Educationaltoys, Playkits, Parenting, Babytoys, Playtime, Toddlerdevelopment, Babyactivities, Smarttoddler, Lovevery, Kids & Family, Babyplay

4.7 • 654 Ratings

🗓️ 23 October 2023

⏱️ 23 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Bickering, fighting, jealousy, constant comparison and competition — sibling rivalry can be exhausting. Here to help us reduce the conflict between our children is parent educator, Kristin Mariella. Her approach is to hold the limits, while welcoming the waves of emotion. You can find more from Kristin Mariella @respectfulmom.

Takeaways:

Hold your tongue! Kristin urges parents to resist getting involved with sibling conflict, as long as there is not a safety issue. Even with the best of intentions, adult interference creates resistance and it sends the message of mistrust.
Welcome the big emotions your siblings have toward one another. It’s OK if they’re not the best of friends — and their relationship will shift over time. By normalizing disagreements, you will diminish the tension in the sibling relationship.
Avoid fostering competition. For example, asking your children to race to the car has a tendency to pit one child against another. Instead, have them compete against you. Play the part of the clumsy adult and you're bound to bring some humor to the situation.
Do your best to avoid equalizing things, particularly when it comes to food. Kristin reminds her children: “We never count food.” If you’re forever equaling out portions, you are sending the message that your children should look to their sibling’s plate to see if they have enough, rather than listening to their body.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to My New Life, a Love Every podcast.
0:11.1	I'm your host, Jessica Rolf.
0:13.5	We talk a lot about connected parenting at Love Every.
0:16.7	Australian experts are ahead of the curve when it comes to building strong parent-child relationships.
0:22.7	In this mini-series, I'll speak with Australian parent educators, psychologists, and pediatricians about setting, loving limits.
0:34.4	Bickering, fighting, jealousy, constant comparison and competition, sibling rivalry can be exhausting.
0:43.5	Here to help us reduce the conflict between our children is parent educator Kristen Mariela.
0:49.9	Her approach is to hold the limits while welcoming the waves of emotion.
0:54.3	I asked her, what is driving all this competition between brothers and sisters?
1:00.3	So much of the things that we do as parents, we think we're helping.
1:07.1	And it's almost like this, you know, I'm on a quest of busting myths, you know, or like really
1:12.0	open people's eyes to what's actually happening when, for example, we are jumping in there
1:21.3	when our kids are even just bickering and we're like correcting interaction.
1:26.3	You know, we're kind of, you know, telling them,
1:28.7	oh, don't use that tone with your brother. That's not very nice. And we think we're kind of like
1:32.9	helping fine tune some interactions and coaching them in the moment. We're trying really our
1:39.1	best to just, you know, make sure that they're on, stay on the right track before things blow out,
1:44.0	you know. But what that they're on, stay on the right track before things blow out, you know.
1:45.5	But what's really interesting is when we get in there, even with our best intention,
1:52.4	we are interfering with the natural kind of flow of things. And our interference, you know,
2:00.2	it creates resistance.
2:02.5	And it sends the message of mistrust.
	...

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