this is some decent content so before we started before we pressed to record Blake was

saying it's been a long time since we did a funny intro and I was saying I'm in a weird space

right now he was like you and me both and for me I've just been feeling like super detached from

reality lately I don't know what's going on, but like I don't feel present.

I don't feel present in my body like the last two or three days.

And it's wild because I'm like tomorrow I'm hit my 30 days, my 30 day streak on headspace as far as meditating.

So like I have been like being hell of present over the last 30 days. But I feel like over the last three days, well the goal was hell of present over the last 30 days, but I like over the last

three days, well the goal was to be present over the last 30 days, right? I fight the last three days, I haven't been as present. And I just been feeling like, I think disassociation is the word that I'm looking for. Yeah. It's like I'm here and things are good, but I just don't feel the way, like I don't feel I just I feel numb yeah like that's like I think

the word that I'm looking for I feel numb which is mainly because I have so many good things

going on in my life I mean I think that's part of trauma maybe I don't know I don't I have no

idea what it's because I feel like being i've been

numb before and i feel like it's from trauma like you just i don't know for myself like i'll be

hellen numb from shit and i won't feel shit for like a long time like i feel like i feel like i

feel like i'm the opposite like i feel like i've been numb for hell long like haven't felt shit

for like damn near since my grandma passed last year yeah i feel like I've been numb for hell of long. Like, I haven't felt shit for, like, damn near since my grandma passed last year. Yeah. I felt like I've been hell of numb since then. But then I feel like recently, it's all been coming out. Yeah. Like, and it's just been, like, throwing up emotions. And all these emotions have came back, which is weird. but it also reminds me like oh shit yeah I am human I don't know

does that make any sense? Yeah, it makes sense. I get what you saying. I think for me, it's more, I don't feel guilt. I don't know if guilt or shame is the world. Because like you said, we're human, right? Like, I think disassociation and detachment is a part of the human experience, but I feel bad that I'm not feeling good. I, like, think about... Well, disassociation is, like, a coping mechanism, too. For real? Mm-hmm. You have to disassociate. I mean, if you think about the shit, like, just from organizing that we see on a daily

basis, like, that is so normal to us. Like, that's not normal. That's not, like, what society or, like, what shit should be like, you feel me? I think I'm using disassociation in the wrong context thing. Because I was talking to Khadija about this, and she was like, yeah, I was telling that I feel this. well, maybe I'm not conscious

of the fact that I'm coping.

You know what I'm saying?

Because you said disassociation. this and she was like yeah this I was telling that I feel this well maybe I'm not conscious of the fact that I'm coping

you know what I'm saying because you said this

association is a coping mechanism right

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